Subject: Death (Page 15)

That is indeed very good. I shall have to repeat that on the Golden Floor!

(1859 – 1936) English classical scholar & poet

You have to treat death like any other part of life.

American auto racer

I hope you go before me because I don’t want you singing at my funeral.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

Well, now I must go to meet God and try to explain all those men I killed at Alamein.

(1887 – 1976) British Army officer

Pope John Paul didn't die… he pre-boarded.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor

Well, this is certainly a pleasant surprise.

American mobster

When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me – I quit."

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn’t scare the f**k out of everybody!

(1953 – 1992) American comedian

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!

(1813 – 1864) American teacher & Union Army general in the Civil War

Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.

I have to set my pillows one more night… when will this end already?

(1783 – 1859) American author, essayist, biographer & historian

I see that you have made three spelling mistakes.

(1744 – 1790) French aristocrat

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Are you happy?  I'm happy.

(1879 – 1959) American actress

We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist

If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

(1900 – 1993) American actress

Oh that press will have me now!

(1809 – 1892) Poet Laureate of the United Kingdom