Subject: Death (Page 19)

When someone close to you dies… move seats.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Death Situations

Take a step or two forward, lads. It will be easier that way.

(1870 – 1922) Irish author & nationalist
Last words

It's all been rather lovely.

(1912 – 1983) English actor
Last words

Will: A dead giveaway.

Death Definitions

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Death

It proves what Harry always said: give the public what they want and they'll come out for it.

(1913 – 1997) American comedian & radio & television host
Death Insults

There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead.

(1892 – 1955) Swiss composer
Death Entertainment Music

I hope they bury me near a straight man.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death Emotions

Sorry for saying f**k.

1941 – 1989) English comedian, physician, writer & actor (Monty Python)
Last words

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Death Fathers School Situations

To stop sinning suddenly.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Death

Death is an acquired trait.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death

Don't worry, they usually don't swim backwards.

(1962 – 2006) Australian television personality, wildlife expert & conservationist
Last words

A candidate could easily commit political suicide if he were to come up with an unconventional thought during a presidential tour.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Death Government Politicians

This is funny.

(1851 – 1887) American gambler, gunfighter & dentist of the American old west
Last words

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Death Life

I'll sleep well tonight.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Last words

There have been times when I’ve thought about it – but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death

I don’t think I will ever die doing what I love… because what I love is not dying.

comedian
Death

Kids, kids, I'm not going to die; that only happens to bad people.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Death TV/Movie Quotes

A bird in the hand is dead.

Animals Death Murphy’s Laws