Subject: Death (Page 2)

If there is reincarnation, I’d like to come back as Warren Beatty’s fingertips.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death

One never knows the ending. One has to die to know exactly what happens after death… although Catholics have their hopes.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Last words

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

A bird in the hand is dead.

Animals Death Murphy’s Laws

If you stop eating donuts you will live three years longer; it’s just three more years that you want a donut.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Death Food/Drink Life

I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.

Alexander III (356 – 323 BC) King of Macedon
Death Doctors Health

It's all been rather lovely.

(1912 – 1983) English actor
Last words

Dammit… don't you dare ask God to help me!

(1905 – 1977) American actress
Last words

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
America Death Places

More weight.

(c.1611 – 1692) a prosperous farmer and church member in early colonial America who died under judicial torture during the Salem witch trials
Last words

A redneck died and left his entire fortune to his beloved wife… she couldn’t touch it until she was fourteen.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Death Marriage People Rednecks

I leave life so that I can walk into history.

(1882 – 1954) Brazilian dictator & democratically elected President
Last words

That's good. Go on, read some more.

(1865 – 1923) 29th U.S. President
Last words

When I hear that a man is religious, I conclude he is a rascal!

(1711 – 1776) Scottish philosopher, historian, economist & essayist
Last words

We were making love and I took the bag off my head.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Death Ugly

Secretary: Someday you'll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Death Food/Drink

I did not know that we had ever quarreled.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian
Last words

I have a lifetime appointment and I intend to serve it; I expect to die at 110, shot by a jealous husband.

(1908 – 1993) U.S. Supreme Court justice
Death Relationships Situations

Well, now I must go to meet God and try to explain all those men I killed at Alamein.

(1887 – 1976) British Army officer
Last words

Born in a hotel room, and Goddammit, died in one!

(1888 – 1953) American playwright
Last words

Oh, what's the bloody point?

(1926 – 1988) English comic actor & comedian
Last words