Death | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Death (Page 20)

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

Dorothy Parker

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Death Places Judgment Tombstone

It sounds like attention-seeking behavior to me.

Paul Whitehouse

(1958 – ) Welsh actor, writer & comedian

Death Insults Joking about Spike Milligan’s death

Can this last long?

William III

(1650 – 1702) Dutch ruler over England & Ireland & Scotland

Last words When his doctor told him that he was ill.

I hope they bury me near a straight man.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Death Emotions Buried Humor

Kill: To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

Ambrose Bierce

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Death Definitions Killing Successor Vacancy

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Proverb

Appearance Body Death Eating Life Proverbs Fitness

Serkin was so sick he almost died for three days.

Eugene Ormandy

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

Death Health Misspokements Illness

Die, my dear? Why, that's the last thing I'll do!

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Last words

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

Jon Stewart

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

Death Government Politicians Senate

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Samuel Johnson

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

Death Life Money Poverty Wealth

Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Last words Carlotta" was Carlotta Monti an actress and Fields' mistress

A king should die standing.

Louis XVIII

(1755 – 1824) King of France

Last words As he lay dying of gout and gangrene

Perhaps men should think twice before making widowhood our only path to power.

Gloria Steinem

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist

Death Men People Women Power

This is the first time authorities helped me escape prison.

George Sitts

(c.1914 – 1947) American convicted murderer

Last words Before his electrocution South Dakota

Gentlemen, I bid you farewell.

Wallace Henry Hartley

Last words To his fellow band mates before the Titanic sank in 1912. One survivor who climbed aboard a lifeboat distinctly heard Hartley say these words before he and the band were swept off the deck by the sea.

Take a step or two forward, lads. It will be easier that way.

Robert Erskine Childers

(1870 – 1922) Irish author & nationalist

Last words After shaking hands with each member his firing squad

There is no such thing as inner peace; there is only nervousness and death.

Fran Lebowitz

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Death Inner peace Nervousness

I ain’t afraid to die fat… that’s my pallbearers’ worry.

Lavell Crawford

Appearance Death Fat

Go away. I'm all right.

H.G. Wells

(1866 – 1946) English author

Last words Wells did not realize he was dying.

I am about to – or I am going to – die: either expression is correct.

Dominique Bouhours

(1628 – 1702) French grammarian