Subject: Death (Page 23)

Proof that we don’t understand death is that we give dead people a pillow.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Death

If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Death Happiness Misspokements Speech

He always regarded death as highly overrated and could never understand why anybody made such a fuss about it.

(1943 – ) English comedian, writer, television host & actor
Death

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Death Work

Gents, this is an educational project. You are about to witness the damaging effect electricity has on Wood.

(? – 1963) convicted murderer
Last words

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
America Death Places

I'm the kind of guy who will have nothing all my life and then they'll discover oil while they're digging my grave.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Death Life Money Wealth

I’d rather die while I’m living then live while I’m dead.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Death Life

So far, I haven’t heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Death Life Money

My granny was recently beaten to death by my grandad; not as in, ‘with a stick’… he just died first.

(1978 – ) British comedian
Death

Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Death

Are you happy?  I'm happy.

(1879 – 1959) American actress
Last words

My grandmother buried three husbands… and two of them were only napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Marriage Relationships

Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you're fooling about!

(1891 – 1930) American serial killer, arsonist & burglar
Last words

For me dying is a lot like going camping… I don't want to do it.


Death

You have to treat death like any other part of life.

American auto racer
Auto racing Death Sports

You know how you're going to die, you just don't know when.

comedian
Activities Death Places

Pope John Paul didn't die… he pre-boarded.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Death

Ah, well… we live and learn, or, anyway, we live.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
Death Education Learning

It sounds like attention-seeking behavior to me.

(1958 – ) Welsh actor, writer & comedian
Death Insults

You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Death Life Situations