Subject: Death (Page 23)

No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die.

Cherokee Bill (1876 – 1896) American convicted murderer & outlaw
Last words

I find, then, I am but a bad anatomist.

(1763 – 1798) Irish revolutionary figure
Death

This is too tight.

(1823 – 1865) Swiss-born Confederate officer in the American Civil War
Last words

I’ll be in Hell before you start breakfast! Let her rip!

(1863 – 1901) American cowboy & train robber
Last words

Apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Death Situations

If you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss, then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Death

Okay, Father. I'll pray that you don't follow me too soon.

(1920 – 1945) only American soldier to be court martialed and executed for desertion during World War II
Last words

Luna: So then, what do you believe in?

Miles: Sex and death – two things that come once in a lifetime… but at least after death, you're not nauseous.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili.

(1809 – 1868) American frontiersman & scout
Last words

The reason so many people turned up at his funeral was to make sure he was dead.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Death Insults

I'm sorry, boys, I’m all wet.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Death Last words

You don’t know anything about pain until you’ve seen your own baby drowned in a tub… and you definitely don’t know anything about how to wash a baby.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Death Family

Do not hack me as you did my Lord Russell.

(1649 – 1685) English nobleman
Last words

When I die, I hope to go to heaven… whatever the hell that is.

(1905 – 1982) Russian-American novelist, playwright & philosopher
Death

Well, this is certainly a pleasant surprise.

American mobster
Last words

The operation was a complete success, but the patient died of something else.

Death Doctors Health

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Death Things

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Death Life

I still live.

(1782 – 1852) American statesman, senator (Massachusetts) & writer
Last words

Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. Death is #2. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Death TV/Movie Quotes

Oh God, here I go!

(1909–1959) American boxing champion
Last words