Subject: Death (Page 26)

Ya look like one of those pall buriers at a funeral.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Death Malaprops

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Death Things

Sheldon: At my age, do you know how I’m statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your roommate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That’s how I’m going to make it look.

(1975 – ) American actor
Death TV/Movie Quotes

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Death

Let's be wild tonight.

(1920 – 1939) Finnish actress
Last words

Don't pull down the blinds. I feel fine. I want the sunlight to greet me!

(1895 – 1926) Italian actor & early pop icon
Last words

Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good!

(1867 – 1932) American Broadway impresario
Last words

[Memorial services are the] cocktail parties of the geriatric set.

(1902 – 1983) English actor
Age Death Entertainment

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Death Life

And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, “A truck!”

(1956 – ) American comedian
Communication Death Family Language Last words

One last drink, please.

(1846 – 1911) American distiller
Last words

The best way to die is to sit under a tree, eats lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer and blow up.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Death Football Sports

I detest life insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Death

Oh, what's the bloody point?

(1926 – 1988) English comic actor & comedian
Last words

Why not? After all, it belongs to him.

(1889 – 1977) English comedian, actor & film director
Last words

Will: A dead giveaway.

Death Definitions

You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.

(1953 – 1992) American career criminal & convicted murderer
Last words

Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Last words

Am I dying, or is this my birthday?

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Last words

One dies only once, and it’s for such a long time!

(1622 – 1673) French playwright & actor
Death

Be careful about reading health books for you may die of a misprint.

(1747 – 1803) German Jewish physician & lecturer on philosophy
Books Communication Death Health Reading/Writing