Subject: Death (Page 26)

No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die.

Cherokee Bill (1876 – 1896) American convicted murderer & outlaw
Last words

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Definitions

Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.

Death Definitions

Death is an acquired trait.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death

Absolutely not!

(1920 – 1966) American film & stage actor
Last words

Death is not the end; there remains the litigation over the estate.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death

Hey, watch this!

Death Definitions Last words

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.

comedian, counselor & speaker
Death Science/Weather Success Wealth

Don’t think of it as dying; just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Death

Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.
Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death TV/Movie Quotes

Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.

(1963 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, screenwriter & film producer
Death Marriage

I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.

Taylor C. Craig (1960 – 1995) American double-convicted murderer
Last words

Suicide is cheating the doctor out of a job.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Death Doctors Health

Ah, Luisa, you always arrive just as I am leaving.

(1798 – 1866) Italian statesman, novelist & painter
Last words

Do you think we should drive a stake through his heart just in case?

(1904 – 1964) Austrian-Hungarian actor
Death

Eulogy: Praise that’s too much and too late.

Death Definitions

I hope you go before me because I don’t want you singing at my funeral.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Death Entertainment

When people bury other people, they should be damn certain that’s where they want them to be.


Death

When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he's dead.

(1931 – ) American author & newspaper journalist
Death Relationships

I asked my doctor how many more years I have left and he said, 'You're too ornery to die.'

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Death Sports

Now I will show you how an Italian dies!

(1968 – 2004) Italian security officer
Last words