Subject: Death (Page 3)

It wasn't worth it.

(1884 – 1957) Russian-born American film producer
Last words

You got me.

(1903 – 1934) American bank robber & convicted murderer
Last words

I tried to hang myself with bungee cord… I kept almost dying.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Death

Surprise me.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Last words

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Death Food/Drink Health

Go away. I'm all right.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Last words

I ain’t afraid to die fat… that’s my pallbearers’ worry.


Appearance Death Fat

Ya look like one of those pall buriers at a funeral.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Death Malaprops

How can I die, I'm booked.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Death Entertainment

If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Death Happiness Misspokements Speech

Death takes no bribes.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Death

If you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss, then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Death

That is indeed very good. I shall have to repeat that on the Golden Floor!

(1859 – 1936) English classical scholar & poet
Last words

When someone close to you dies… move seats.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Death Situations

I have a lifetime appointment and I intend to serve it; I expect to die at 110, shot by a jealous husband.

(1908 – 1993) U.S. Supreme Court justice
Death Relationships Situations

Serkin was so sick he almost died for three days.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Death Health Misspokements

My doctor gave me two weeks to live… I hope they're in August.

comedian
Death Doctors Health

I want nothing but death.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Last words

Famous Last Words: “This is easy.”

Death Definitions

I have a gold watch he [my father] sold to me on his deathbed; I wrote him a check for it… post-dated of course.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Death Family Fathers

Yes, it's tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.

(1877 – 1959) English theatre & film actor
Last words