Subject: Death (Page 5)

If anyone cries at my funeral, I will never speak to him again.

(1890 – 1965) English comic actor, writer & director (of Laurel & Hardy)
Death

My work is done, why wait?

(1854 – 1932) American innovator & founder of Eastman Kodak
Last words

Secretary: It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law.

Field’s reply: Yes, it is, very hard… it’s almost impossible.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Suicide is cheating the doctor out of a job.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Death Doctors Health

My design is to make what haste I can to be gone.

(1599 – 1658) English military & political leader
Last words

Funeral: A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Death Definitions

Do you think we should drive a stake through his heart just in case?

(1904 – 1964) Austrian-Hungarian actor
Death

Bless you, Sister.  May all your sons be bishops.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Last words

It must have been the coffee.

(1917 – 1979) Japanese-American actor
Last words

I’m afraid I’m being an awful nuisance.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Death Last words

The news of any politician’s death should be listed under ”Public Improvements.”

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Death Government Politicians Situations

I thought it was in terribly bad taste for him to die when he did.

(1942 – ) English comic, actor (Monty Python's Flying Circus)
Death

Hurrah for anarchy! This is the happiest moment of my life.

(1836 – 1887) German born anarchist & labor union activist
Last words

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Death Life

Gentlemen, I bid you farewell.


Last words

Wait a second.

(1721 – 1764) member of the French court & mistress of Louis XV
Last words

To stop sinning suddenly.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Death

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Accidents Autos Clothing Death Problems

No comment.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Last words

One never knows the ending. One has to die to know exactly what happens after death… although Catholics have their hopes.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Last words

One last drink, please.

(1846 – 1911) American distiller
Last words