Subject: Death (Page 6)

Bless you, Sister.  May all your sons be bishops.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Last words

Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here.

(1503 – 1566) French apothecary & reputed seer who published his prophecies
Last words

People get way too much credit at funerals.

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Death

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other – so now it’s just a waiting game.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian & game show host
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Death Speech

And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, “A truck!”

(1956 – ) American comedian
Communication Death Family Language Last words

Codeine… bourbon…

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Last words

I wonder why he shot me.

(1893 – 1935) U.S. governor & senator (Louisiana)
Last words

My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either they go or I do.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Last words

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

Death

One last drink, please.

(1846 – 1911) American distiller
Last words

Drug Kingpin Amado Fuentes died from 9 hours of liposuction and plastic surgery – or, as it's commonly known here in Beverly Hills, natural causes.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Death Health Places

I still live.

(1782 – 1852) American statesman, senator (Massachusetts) & writer
Last words

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is — he’s the reason you all live underground.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Death Future People Time

There have been times when I’ve thought about it – but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death

Immortality – a fate worse than death.


Death Life

You got me.

(1903 – 1934) American bank robber & convicted murderer
Last words

Why shouldn’t we air grievances at funerals?

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Death

I detest life insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Death

I think you're right, Wyatt. I can't see a god damn thing.

(1851 – 1882) younger brother of Deputy U.S. Marshals Virgil & Wyatt Earp
Last words

You sons of bitches, give my love to Mother!

(1912 - 1932) American convicted murderer & career criminal
Last words