Subject: Death (Page 7)

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Books Communication Death Reading/Writing

I’ll be in Hell before you start breakfast! Let her rip!

(1863 – 1901) American cowboy & train robber
Last words

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death Definitions

Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.

(1664 – 1721) English poet & diplomat
Death Doctors Health

Don't be in such a hurry.

(1915 – 1959) American jazz singer & songwriter
Last words

One never knows the ending. One has to die to know exactly what happens after death… although Catholics have their hopes.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Last words

My uncle's dying wish – he wanted me on his lap; he was in the electric chair.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Death Relationships

Why should I worry about dying; it'’not going to happen in my lifetime!

(1919 – ) American mathematician, logician & magician
Death

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death People Places

That picture is awful dusty.

(1847 – 1882) American outlaw, bank robber & convicted murderer
Last words

George W. [Bush] was born on third, but thinks he hit a triple.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Death Insults

Immortality – a fate worse than death.


Death Life

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Animals Death Dogs Marriage

Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good!

(1867 – 1932) American Broadway impresario
Last words

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Death

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have grandma buried or cremated… in the end, we let her live.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Death Family

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Death Life Money Poverty Wealth

All right then, I'll say it: Dante makes me sick.

(1562 – 1635) Spanish playwright & poet
Last words

I'm out of here, man. I'm gone. Keep me in your hearts.

(? – 2008) American convicted murder
Last words

If I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

(1803 – 1857) English writer
Death Insults Occupations People Work

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Death Speech