Death | Just-One-Liners.com

Only from the cold, my friend.

Jean-Sylvain Bailly

(1736 – 1793) French astronomer, orator & leader of the French Revolution

Last words His reply when he was heckled by a spectator who noticed that he was trembling while on the scaffold awaiting the guillotine.

George W. [Bush] was born on third, but thinks he hit a triple.

Jim Hightower

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

Death Insults Circumstances

Take a step or two forward, lads. It will be easier that way.

Robert Erskine Childers

(1870 – 1922) Irish author & nationalist

Last words After shaking hands with each member his firing squad

I am starting to believe you are not intending to count me amongst your friends.

Pedro Muñoz Seca

(1879 – 1936) Spanish comic playwright

Last words As he was about to be executed by a firing squad during the Spanish Civil War

I was going to commit suicide the other day, but I must not have been serious because I brought a beach towel.

Steven Wright

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Death Beach towel Suicide

My vocabulary did this to me. Your love will let you go on…

Jack Spicer

(1925 - 1965) American poet

Last words Spoken to fellow poet Robin Blaser in a near-coma brought on by Spicer's alcoholism.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Mark Twain

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Communication Death Exaggerations

Will: A dead giveaway.

Anonymous

Death Definitions Will

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left.

Robert Byrne

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

Death Memorial Service

You have to treat death like any other part of life.

Tom Sneva

American auto racer

Auto racing Death Sports

Why shouldn’t we air grievances at funerals?

Gary Gulman

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian

Death Funerals

I was married twice; my first wife died and my second one wouldn't.

Ross Bennett

(1955 – ) American comedian

Death Marriage

If this is dying, I don’t think much of it.

Lytton Strachey

(1880 – 1932) British writer & critic

Death On his deathbed

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Subject: Death (Page 7)

You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.

I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims who have to be identified by their dental records. If they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Yes… a bullet-proof vest

Now I will show you how an Italian dies!

It seldom happens, I think, that a man has the civility to die when all the world wishes it.

Luna: So then, what do you believe in?
Miles: Sex and death – two things that come once in a lifetime… but at least after death, you're not nauseous.

Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.

A dying man enjoys free speech.