Subject: Death (Page 9)

How young can you die of old age?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Death Life Old Young

The play is over, applaud!

(63 BC – 14 AD) first emperor of the Roman Empire
Last words

Sheldon: At my age, do you know how I’m statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your roommate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That’s how I’m going to make it look.

(1975 – ) American actor
Death TV/Movie Quotes

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Mothers

A candidate could easily commit political suicide if he were to come up with an unconventional thought during a presidential tour.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Death Government Politicians

Tenant Failed To Give Notice Before Dying

Death Headlines

No Comment

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Last words

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!

(1813 – 1864) American teacher & Union Army general in the Civil War
Death Government Military

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Death Food/Drink Health

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Death

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication Death Hair Time

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have grandma buried or cremated… in the end, we let her live.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Death Family

Dying is no big deal, living is the trick.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Death Life

I'll sleep well tonight.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Last words

Gents, this is an educational project. You are about to witness the damaging effect electricity has on Wood.

(? – 1963) convicted murderer
Last words

Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you're fooling about!

(1891 – 1930) American serial killer, arsonist & burglar
Last words

I find, then, I am but a bad anatomist.

(1763 – 1798) Irish revolutionary figure
Death

'Hey Death – is that a sickle in your hand or are you just glad to see me?'

American comedian
Death

I am starting to believe you are not intending to count me amongst your friends.

(1879 – 1936) Spanish comic playwright
Last words

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Death

I’ll be in Hell before you start breakfast! Let her rip!

(1863 – 1901) American cowboy & train robber
Last words