Subject: Definitions

Definitions:

Humorous definitions, often through the use of puns or wordplay

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Self-esteem: An erroneous appraisement.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Mouth: In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Bureaucracy: The art of making the possible seem impossible.

Definitions

Manners: Noises you don’t make when eating soup.

Definitions

Dependent: Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Contract: An agreement to do something if nothing happens to prevent it.

Definitions

Insanity: Knowing that what you’re doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can’t stop it.

Definitions

Propaganda: Baloney disguised as food for thought.

Definitions Wordplay

Arthritis: Twinges in the hinges.

Definitions Health

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Definitions Money

Daughter: A person who Dad likes because she reminds him why he married his wife, and who Mom is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her.

Definitions Family

Mausoleum: The final and funniest folly of the rich.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Money Wealth

The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly,’ meaning ‘many,’ and the word ‘ticks,’ meaning ‘blood sucking parasites.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Definitions Government Language Politics

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

Flood: A river too big for its bridges.

Definitions

Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Definitions Education

Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.

Definitions Money

Prostitute: A busy body.

Definitions

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape.

Definitions Wordplay