Subject: Definitions

Definitions:

Humorous definitions, often through the use of puns or wordplay

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Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Definitions Sex

Pessimist: A person who looks at a doughnut and sees nothing but the hole.

Definitions

Liberal: One who tolerates all beliefs and opinions except those with which he disagrees.

Beliefs Definitions

Bore: A person who takes his time taking your time.

Definitions

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Definitions Golf Sports

Breeding: Concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Definitions

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Definitions Mistakes

Secret: What we tell everybody to tell nobody.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Karate: The ancient Japanese art of getting people to buy lots of belts.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Definitions

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Appearance Body Definitions

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

Educated Man: One who has finally discovered that there are some questions to which nobody has the answers.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Communist: A guy who borrows your pot to cook your goose.

Definitions

Recount: In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Definitions

Courtship: A man pursuing a woman until she catches him.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Gifted Children: Unfortunate tykes who lack the good sense to hide their talents from overly ambitious parents.

Definitions Family