Subject: Definitions

Definitions:

Humorous definitions, often through the use of puns or wordplay

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Abbreviation: Long word with, ironically, no obvious shorter alternative.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions Language Reading/Writing

Agreeable Person: One who agrees with me.

Definitions

Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.

Definitions Emotions

Technology: The knack of so arranging the world that we need not experience it.

(1911 – 1991) Swiss playwright & novelist
Definitions Science/Weather

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it.

Animals Definitions Food/Drink

Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions

Politician: One who is willing to do anything on earth for the workers except become one.

Definitions Government Politicians

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Minor Operation: One performed on someone else.

Definitions Health

Learning: The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Language Learning

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.

Definitions Food/Drink

Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Definitions

Antiques: Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.

Definitions

Baby: An alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.

Definitions Family

Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Experience: The name an older man gives to his mistakes.

Definitions Mistakes

Coach: A fellow who will gladly lay down your life for the school.

Definitions

Government Bureau: Where the taxpayer’s shirt is kept.

Definitions Government Taxes

Courtship: When a fellow and a girl are always trying to show how smart he is.

Definitions Relationships

Diet Drink/Soda: A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half-pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Definitions Food/Drink