Subject: Definitions

Definitions:

Humorous definitions, often through the use of puns or wordplay

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Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Taxes

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

Derange: Where de buffalo roam.

Definitions

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Definitions

Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.

Definitions Places

Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.

Age Definitions

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age Definitions

Teetotaler: One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions Wordplay

Barber: The town cutup.

Definitions Wordplay

Whistle: Wind having a narrow escape.

Definitions

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

Definitions

Impotence: Emission impossible.

Definitions Sex

Highbrow: One whose learning has outstripped his intelligence.

Definitions

Dorito Syndrome: Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content.

Definitions Food/Drink

Silence: True wisdom’s best reply.

Definitions Wisdom

Bulletin: Your receipt for attending church services.

Definitions

Rational: Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Ability: What will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Definitions

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

Negotiating: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Money