Subject: Definitions (Page 10)

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Originality: Undetected plagiarism.

Definitions

Military Expert: One who tells you what’s going to happen tomorrow – then tells you why it didn’t.

Definitions Government Military

Reducing: Wishful shrinking.

Appearance Body Definitions Wordplay

Old age is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions Old

Exercise: The joy of flex.

Activities Definitions Exercise

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes

Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

Clothing Definitions

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Doctors Health

Statistician: A person who believes that if you put your head in a furnace and your feet in a bucket of iced water, on the average you should feel reasonably comfortable.

Definitions Occupations

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Age Definitions Food/Drink Health Old

Obituary: A final summation of our lives that, for most of us, occupies about three inches of space in what will shortly become cage liner for our neighbor’s parakeet.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Death Definitions

Antiques: Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.

Definitions Things

Tears: A good-bye product.

Definitions

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

Abasement: A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth and power.

Definitions

Footnote: Useless information placed where you can skip it.

Definitions

Family Swimming Pool: A small body of water completely surrounded by other people’s children.

Definitions

Statesman: An ex-politician who has mastered the art of holding his tongue.

Communication Definitions Politicians Speech

Tears: Remorse code.

Definitions Wordplay

Hot Pants: Breeches of promise.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Union: A dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.

Definitions Work