Subject: Definitions (Page 10)

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Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People

America: A land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, and won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

America Definitions Places

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

Consultant: Someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Definitions

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

Percussive Maintenance: Striking a recalcitrant piece of electronic hardware in order to facilitate a successful reboot, and repeating as necessary.

Definitions Failure Problems Things

Abscond: To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Crime Definitions

Impossible: What nobody can do until somebody does it.

Definitions

Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Sport: War without killing.

Definitions

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

Paunch: A bulging trunk.

Appearance Body Definitions

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

Parking Meter: An automatic device that bets a dollar to your nickel that you can’t get back before the time runs out.

Definitions Things

Baby: An inhabitant of Lapland.

Children Definitions Family

Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your own way.

Definitions

Lemonade Stand: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of fifteen cents.

Definitions

Necking: A passion fancy.

Definitions

Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.

Definitions Health

Forger: A man who is always ready to write a wrong.

Definitions

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work