Subject: Definitions (Page 11)

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Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Definitions Government

Umbrella: A shelter for one and a shower for two.

Definitions Things

Optometrist: A person you have to see.

Definitions Doctors

Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all modern improvements.

Death Definitions

Vaccination: An ouch of prevention.

Definitions Health

Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions

Jury: Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Things

Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying about the house.

Definitions Time Work

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men

Oyster: A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Definitions

Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Definitions Sex

Optimist: A middle-aged man who believes that the cleaners have been shrinking the waistband of his pants.

Body Characteristics Definitions People

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Poise: The act of raising the eyebrows instead of the roof.

Definitions

Auditor: A person who goes in after the war is lost to bayonet the wounded.

Definitions Occupations

Interesting: A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

Communication Definitions Speech

Life: A breathing spell.

Definitions Life

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Definitions Occupations

Democracy: A state of mind in which every man is as good as every other man, provided he really is.

Definitions Democracy Government

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion