Subject: Definitions (Page 11)

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Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money Things

Sociology: Journalism without news.

Definitions

Presidency: The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Politics

Umbilical Cord: Baby bungee.

Definitions

Desk: A waste basket with drawers.

Definitions Things

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Definitions

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Silence: Having nothing to say and saying it.

Communication Definitions Situations Speech

Toast: The only thing that can be eaten or drunk.

Definitions

Jeans: Lower half of the international uniform of youth.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

B-Negative: A pessimist’s blood type.

Definitions

Florists: Petal pushers.

Definitions

Righteous Indignation: Your own wrath, as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

Anger Definitions Emotions

Neighbors: The only people who listen to both sides of an argument.

Definitions People

Sunday School: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

Definitions

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time; the man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Activities Definitions

Wolf: A fellow who wants his hands on a girl, but doesn’t want a girl on his hands.

Definitions Men People

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

Nepotism: Putting on heirs.

Definitions Family

Abort: To correct a misconception.

Definitions