Subject: Definitions (Page 11)

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Misnomer: The right name for the wrong word.

Communication Definitions Language

Donation: A country full of female deer.

Definitions

Daughter: A person who Dad likes because she reminds him why he married his wife, and who Mom is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her.

Definitions Family

Defame: To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies Truth

Indifference: A woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get.”

Definitions

Education: A technique employed to open minds so that they may go from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Definitions Education

Optimist: Someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.

Definitions

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

Lemonade Stand: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of fifteen cents.

Definitions

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

Alcohol Definitions

Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Definitions

Budget: A family quarrel.

Definitions

Footnote: Useless information placed where you can skip it.

Definitions

Doorman: A genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

Definitions Occupations

Belong: To take your time.

Definitions

Lecher: A stud with liver spots.

Definitions