Subject: Definitions (Page 12)

View All Definitions

Acorn: An oak in a nutshell.

Definitions

Truce: Friendship.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions Relationships

Spanking: Stern punishment.

Definitions

Family Swimming Pool: A small body of water completely surrounded by other people’s children.

Definitions

Flirtation: Paying attention without intention.

Definitions

Hooker: A working woman commonly despised by people who sell themselves for even less.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Sex

Christian: A man who feels repentance on a Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Marriage

Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.

Definitions

Hat: Something the average man covers his head with, the beggar passes around, the statesman throws into the ring, and the politician talks through.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

Etiquette: A convenient code of conduct which makes lying a virtue and snobbishness a righteous deed.

Definitions

Dog: An intelligent four-footed animal who walks around with an idiot on the end of his leash.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Definitions Education

Omen: A sign that something will happen if nothing happens.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

B-Negative: A pessimist’s blood type.

Definitions

Yankee: The same as a quickie, but you can do it by yourself.

Definitions

Doctor: The only man who hasn’t a guaranteed cure for a cold.

Definitions Doctors Health

Innocent Bystander: A person so simple-minded he doesn’t know enough to get out of the way.

Definitions