Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 13)
View All Definitions
Nursery: Bawl room.
Anonymous
Definitions
Nursery
Revolution: An abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict
Definitions
Government
Revolution
Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Lies
Country
Diplomacy
Childbirth:
You
get to go through thirty-six hours of contractions;
he
gets to hold your hand and say, ‘focus… breathe… push…’
Anonymous
Definitions
Childbirth
Heredity: What a man believes in until his son begins to behave like a delinquent.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Heredity
Pickpocket: A man who believes that every crowd has a silver lining.
Anonymous
Crime
Definitions
Pickpocket
Fore: A golf bawl.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Florida: God's waiting room.
Glenn le Grice
Definitions
Places
Florida
Censor: A man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Communication
Definitions
Language
Censor
Saint: A dead sinner, revised and edited.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Saint
Quality Control: The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.
Anonymous
Definitions
Quality Control
Gossip: Anything that goes in one ear and over the back fence.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Speech
Gossip
Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Communication
Definitions
Slander
Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Bugs
Dawn: 1. The time when men of reason go to bed. 2. When the sun first shines on your hangover.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Time
Dawn
Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
madam
Astronomer: Night watchman.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Astronomer
House: Domicile purchased by married couples so they have some place to pour all their money.
Anonymous
Definitions
House
Hospitality: The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
Anonymous
Definitions
Hospitality
Misnomer: The right name for the wrong word.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Language
Misnomer
Girdle: Accessory after the fat.
Anonymous
Appearance
Clothing
Definitions
Wordplay
Page 13 of 78
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