Subject: Definitions (Page 13)

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Dentist: man who lives from hand to mouth.

Definitions Occupations

Advice: the smallest current coin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Houseplants: Vegetable companions; pleasant green pets that rarely bite or throw up on the carpet.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Things

Juvenile Delinquents: Other people’s children.

Definitions

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

Mason-Dixon Line: A geographical division between “you all” and “youse guys.”

Definitions Places

Beauty: The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Appearance Definitions

Telemarketer: A minimum waged person who calls a bunch of people on a list to sell them something that they probably don’t need, and gets hung up on because the person being called usually has a mouth full of food.

Definitions Occupations

Accrue: People who work on a ship.

Definitions

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Definitions Sports

Man: An animal [whose]… chief occupation is the extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People Women

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

Reckless Driver: One who passes you on the highway in spite of all you can do.

Definitions People

Dictatorship: A system of government where everything that isn’t forbidden is obligatory.

Definitions Government

Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time.

Definitions

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

Camp: Where parents spend $1,000 for eight weeks to teach their child to make a 25-cent ash tray.

Definitions

Baby: Morning caller, noonday crawler, midnight bawler.

Children Definitions Family

Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions