Subject: Definitions (Page 13)

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Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

Ambition: Goaled rush.

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Genealogy: An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.

Definitions Family

Absent: The notation generally following your name in a class record.

Definitions

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

Artichoke: The only vegetable you have more of when you finish eating it, than you had when you started.

Definitions

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Definitions Family

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Things

Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.

Definitions

Indifference: A woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get.”

Definitions

Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

Hypochondriac: One who can’t leave well-enough alone.

Definitions Health

Passport: A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Definitions Individuals Things Travel

Intuition: The strange instinct that tells a woman she is right whether she is or not.

Definitions Women

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

Birth: The first and dirtiest of all disasters. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Situations

Altar: Place where a man loses control of himself.

Definitions Marriage

Tact: The ability to arrive at conclusions without expressing them.

Definitions

Father: An ATM provided by nature.

Definitions Family Fathers

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions