Subject: Definitions (Page 13)

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Intuition: The sixth sense that allows a woman five wrong guesses.

Definitions Women

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Definitions Emotions

Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.

Definitions Money

Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

Crime Death Definitions Killing

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

Ability: What will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Definitions

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

Definitions

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work.

Definitions

Aborigines: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country.

Definitions People

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.

Age Definitions

Philanderer: A man who considers himself too good to be true.

Definitions People Self

Jury: Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

Appearance Body Definitions

Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language Self

Fern: A plant that you’re supposed to water once a day, and when you don’t it dies, but if you do it dies anyway, only not so soon.

Definitions