Subject: Definitions (Page 14)

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Bookie: A pickpocket who lets you use your own hands.

Definitions

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

Efficiency Expert: A man smart enough to tell you how to run your business and too smart to start his own.

Definitions

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Definitions Science/Weather

Prostitute: A busy body.

Definitions

White Supremacists: The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.

Beliefs Definitions Intelligence People

Cardiology: The study of poker playing.

Activities Definitions

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Things

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Garage: Something usually built with a house attached.

Definitions

Fiddler: A violinist before he becomes the virtuoso.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Eskimos: God’s frozen people.

Definitions People

Misconception: A pregnancy occurring while taking birth control pills.

Definitions

Executive: A big gun – that hasn’t been fired yet.

Definitions

Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

Clothing Definitions

Auction: A place where, if you aren’t careful, you’ll get something for nodding.

Definitions

Sweater: Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Appearance Clothing Definitions

Kiss: What the child gets free, the young man steals, and the old man buys.

Definitions

Amateur Athlete: An athlete who is paid in cash, not by check..

Definitions

Acoustic: An instrument used in shooting pool.

Definitions

Intuition: The strange instinct that tells a woman she is right whether she is or not.

Definitions Women