Subject: Definitions (Page 14)

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Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Delegate-At-Large: A man at a convention whose wife didn’t accompany him.

Definitions

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

Definitions

Negotiating: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Money

Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

Zeal: A nervous disorder affecting the young and inexperienced.

Characteristics Definitions

Average Person: One who thinks someone else is the average person.

Definitions People

Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.

Definitions Health

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Definitions People

Archive: Where the two bees stayed after Noah brought them aboard.

Definitions

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.

(1870-1943) German-American politician, socialist & writer
Definitions Government Politics

Rejoinder: Married his ex.

Definitions Marriage

Yawn: Opening one’s mouth and wishing that others would close theirs.

Definitions

Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink

Vote: The instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Cantaloupe: Gotta get married in a church.

Definitions Marriage

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense.

Definitions