Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 14)
View All Definitions
Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
Anonymous
Definitions
Dirt
Marriage: A deal in which a man gives away half his groceries in order to get the other half cooked.
Anonymous
Cooking
Definitions
Food/Drink
Marriage
Take Home Pay: An amount of money which is called that because it is never big enough to go anywhere else with it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Money
Take Home Pay
Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
Opinion
Good Advice
Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Truck Driver
Expert: A person who knows enough to complicate simple matters.
Anonymous
Definitions
Expert
Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.
Rick Bayan
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions
Work
Boss
Gardener: Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up.
Anonymous
Definitions
Gardener
Lemonade Stand: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of fifteen cents.
Anonymous
Definitions
Lemonade Stand
I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.
Anonymous
Definitions
I.T.
Technology
Aversion: One side of a disputed story.
Anonymous
Definitions
Aversion
Adage: To become older.
Anonymous
Definitions
Adage
Budget: Telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.
Anonymous
Definitions
Budget
Travel Brochure: A trip teaser.
Anonymous
Definitions
Travel Brochure
Fore: A golf bawl.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Alibi: Slip cover.
Anonymous
Definitions
Alibi
Hallucination: A belief owned exclusively by one person.
Anonymous
Definitions
Hallucination
Bikini: Baiting Suit.
Anonymous
Clothing
Definitions
Bikini
Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents.
Anonymous
Definitions
Housewarming
Mason-Dixon Line: A geographical division between “you all” and “youse guys.”
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Mason-Dixon Line
Man: An animal [whose]… chief occupation is the extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
People
Women
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