Subject: Definitions (Page 14)

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Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

Marriage: A deal in which a man gives away half his groceries in order to get the other half cooked.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Marriage

Take Home Pay: An amount of money which is called that because it is never big enough to go anywhere else with it.

Definitions Money

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

Expert: A person who knows enough to complicate simple matters.

Definitions

Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Gardener: Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up.

Definitions

Lemonade Stand: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of fifteen cents.

Definitions

I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.

Definitions

Aversion: One side of a disputed story.

Definitions

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

Budget: Telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.

Definitions

Travel Brochure: A trip teaser.

Definitions

Fore: A golf bawl.

Definitions Golf Sports

Alibi: Slip cover.

Definitions

Hallucination: A belief owned exclusively by one person.

Definitions

Bikini: Baiting Suit.

Clothing Definitions

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents.

Definitions

Mason-Dixon Line: A geographical division between “you all” and “youse guys.”

Definitions Places

Man: An animal [whose]… chief occupation is the extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People Women