Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 14)
View All Definitions
Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Coward
Delegate-At-Large: A man at a convention whose wife didn’t accompany him.
Anonymous
Definitions
Delegate-At-Large
Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.
Anonymous
Definitions
Black Eye
Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
Anonymous
Definitions
Fable
Negotiating: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.
Rick Bayan
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions
Money
Negotiating
Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sunburn
Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Driving
Bus
Speed
Transportation
Zeal: A nervous disorder affecting the young and inexperienced.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Zeal
Average Person: One who thinks someone else is the average person.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Average Person
Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Diagnosis
Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Young
Youth
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Boy
Archive: Where the two bees stayed after Noah brought them aboard.
Anonymous
Definitions
Archive
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.
Oscar Ameringer
(1870-1943) German-American politician, socialist & writer
Definitions
Government
Politics
Rejoinder: Married his ex.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Rejoinder
Yawn: Opening one’s mouth and wishing that others would close theirs.
Anonymous
Definitions
Yawn
Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.
Anonymous
Cooking
Definitions
Food/Drink
Fettuccine Alfredo
Vote: The instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Elections/Voting
Government
Democracy
Vote
Cantaloupe: Gotta get married in a church.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Cantaloupe
Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.
Anonymous
Definitions
Life
Taxes
IRS
Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense.
Anonymous
Definitions
Apologize
Page 14 of 78
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