Subject: Definitions (Page 14)

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Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money.

Definitions Things

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

Newlywed: A man who puts up the storm windows the first time his wife suggests it.

Definitions Marriage

Quality Control: The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.

Definitions

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.

Clothing Definitions

Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Death Definitions

Buffet: A French word that means “get up and get it yourself.”

American humorist & public speaker
Definitions Food/Drink

Sinker: Lead weight attached to the end of a length of fishing line to facilitate the speedy disposal of unwanted lures.

Activities Definitions Things

Neurotic: A person who, when you ask how she is, tells you.

Definitions People

Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.

Definitions Occupations

Middle Age: That period when a man begins to shed his hair, his teeth, and his illusions.

Age Definitions

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Definitions Marriage

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Parking Meter: An automatic device that bets a dollar to your nickel that you can’t get back before the time runs out.

Definitions Things

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

Cantaloupe: Gotta get married in a church.

Definitions Marriage

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age Definitions

Delegate-At-Large: A man at a convention whose wife didn’t accompany him.

Definitions

History: The version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Definitions History Time

Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.

Communication Definitions Language

Chiropractor: A doctor who works his fingers to the bone… yours.

Definitions Doctors