Subject: Definitions (Page 14)

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Pregnancy: The shape of things to come.

Definitions

Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Dignity: Something that can’t be preserved in alcohol.

Definitions

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

Imagination: What puts men in asylums unless they are crazy enough to put it down on paper or canvas.

Definitions

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Mason-Dixon Line: A geographical division between “you all” and “youse guys.”

Definitions Places

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Definitions Marriage

Hanging: A suspended sentence.

Definitions

To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Speech

Retraction: The revision of an insult to give it wider circulation.

Definitions Insults

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

Definitions

Tolerance: Another word for indifference.

Characteristics Definitions

Post Operative: Letter carrier

Definitions

B Flat: An apiary.

Definitions

Armadillo: Possum on the half shell.

Animals Definitions

Price: Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.

Definitions Occupations

Foosball: A combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

Activities Definitions