Subject: Definitions (Page 15)

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American Idealism: Being willing to make any sacrifice that won’t hurt business.

Definitions

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Know-it-all: One who pretends to know something about everything but really knows nothing about anything.

Definitions

Communism: Nobody’s got nothin’, but everybody’s workin’.

Definitions

Conscience: An inner voice that warns us somebody is watching.

Definitions

Egotist: A person of low taste more interested in himself than in me.

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Collection: A church function in which many take but a passing interest.

Definitions

Armadillo: Possum on the half shell.

Animals Definitions

Poor man: One feels genuinely sorry for him.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions

Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

Definitions

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

Definitions Men People

Intuition: The strange instinct that tells a woman she is right whether she is or not.

Definitions Women

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Definitions Intelligence People Self

Wagging Tail: A happy ending.

Definitions

Exhaustion: Sufficient cause for the hospitalization of a celebrity – the normal state of existence for the rest of the working world.

Definitions

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

Expert: A man from another city, and the farther away that city is, the greater the expert.

Definitions

Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Something wrong with your eyes?”

Age Definitions

Accordian: An instrument inharmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music