Subject: Definitions (Page 16)

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Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Clothing Definitions Places

Selfishness: Annoying quality of someone who has what I want, but is not prepared to give it to me.

Definitions

English Channel: The BBC.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

Insomnia: The inability to sleep even when it’s time to get up.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Abscond: To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Crime Definitions

Foosball: A combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

Activities Definitions

Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.

Definitions

Hors d'oeuvres: A sandwich cut into 20 pieces.

Definitions Food/Drink

Earthquake: A topographical error.

Definitions

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

Entrepreneur: What you’re called when you don’t have a job.

Definitions

Trombones: Bones in an orchestra.

Definitions

Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Definitions Sex

Aborigines: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country.

Definitions People

Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink

Diaphragm: A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

Body Definitions Health

Doorman: A genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

Definitions Occupations