Subject: Definitions (Page 18)

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Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

Diaper: A changeable seat cover.

Definitions

Baby: An inhabitant of Lapland.

Children Definitions Family

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Executive: A big gun – that hasn’t been fired yet.

Definitions

Waffle: A pancake with a nonskid tread.

Definitions Food/Drink

Orgasm: The punchline some women just don’t get, generally because their mates have a tendency to rush through the joke.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Sex

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

Reconsider: To seek a justification for a decision already made.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Below: Sing Bass.

Definitions

Sarong: A simple garment carrying the implicit promise that it will not long stay in place.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Amusement Park: A walled city populated mainly by teenagers, who willingly pay to have their bodies and brains agitated on a variety of fiendish contraptions designed to induce vomiting.

Definitions

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians

Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.

Definitions

Booby Trap: A brassiere.

Definitions

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Definitions Marriage

Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Children Definitions Family

Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time.

Definitions

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Definitions Food/Drink

Cantaloupe: Gotta get married in a church.

Definitions Marriage