Subject: Definitions (Page 18)

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Desk: A dangerous place from which to view the world.

Definitions

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist’s bills.

Definitions

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death Definitions

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Definitions Sex

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

Definitions

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Gossip: One with a keen sense of rumor.

Definitions

Sterilize: What you do to your baby’s first pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it on your shirt.

Definitions Family

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

Umbrella: A shelter for one and a shower for two.

Definitions Things

Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.

Definitions Life

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes

Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.

Definitions Doctors Health

Amnesia: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Definitions

Good Breeding: That quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service.

Definitions

Family Swimming Pool: A small body of water completely surrounded by other people’s children.

Definitions

Courtship: When a fellow and a girl are always trying to show how smart he is.

Definitions Relationships

Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports