Subject: Definitions (Page 18)

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World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

Karate: The ancient Japanese art of getting people to buy lots of belts.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Definitions

Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.

Definitions

Current Events: Electric shocks.

Definitions

Short Vacation: Half a loaf.

Activities Definitions

Opportunist: One who goes ahead and does what you always planned to do. 

Definitions

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Abstract Art: The proof that things are not as bad as they are painted to be.

Art Definitions Entertainment

Poor man: One feels genuinely sorry for him.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions

Average Man: A person who doesn’t want much, and usually gets a little less than that.

Definitions People

Marriage: A deal in which a man gives away half his groceries in order to get the other half cooked.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Marriage

Hip: Smartly attuned to the latest cutting-edge cliches.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Miscellaneous

Acrobat: The person who turns a flop into a success.

Definitions

Bachelor: A man who can get out of bed from either side.

Definitions Marriage Men People

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look “like a tramp.”

Appearance Definitions

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

Hero: One who is afraid to run away.

Definitions

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

Faith: Not wanting to know what is true.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Beliefs Definitions

Rear: In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Military