Subject: Definitions (Page 18)

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Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Future Time

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Occupations Work

Houseplants: Vegetable companions.

Definitions

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

Neighbors: People who live near you, who are never around when you need to borrow power tools or jumper cables, but who are everywhere when you are having a heated argument with your spouse.

Definitions People

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age Definitions

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

Weed: A plant whose virtues have not been discovered.

Definitions

Boss: A person who comes early to see who comes late.

Definitions Work

Ambition: Goaled rush.

Definitions

Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language Money

Opportunist: A person who, finding himself in hot water, decides he needs a bath anyway.

Definitions Situations

Armor: A knight gown.

Clothing Definitions

Gossip: Anything that goes in one ear and over the back fence.

Communication Definitions Speech

Bum: A man-about-town.

Definitions

Seamstress: 250 pounds in a size 6.

Appearance Definitions Fat

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay