Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 18)
View All Definitions
Desk: A dangerous place from which to view the world.
Anonymous
Definitions
Desk
Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist’s bills.
Anonymous
Definitions
Cavity
Dentists
Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death
Definitions
Grave
Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sex
Nymphomania
Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Truck Driver
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Anonymous
Computers
Definitions
Things
Mouse
Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
Anonymous
Definitions
Amen
Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Zoo
Gossip: One with a keen sense of rumor.
Anonymous
Definitions
Gossip
Sterilize: What you do to your baby’s first pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it on your shirt.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Babies
Sterilize
Snoring: Sheet music.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sleep
Wordplay
Snoring
Umbrella: A shelter for one and a shower for two.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Umbrella
Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.
Anonymous
Definitions
Life
Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Taxes
Income tax
Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.
Anonymous
Definitions
Doctors
Health
Psychiatrists
Amnesia: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.
Anonymous
Definitions
Amnesia
Good Breeding: That quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service.
Anonymous
Definitions
Good Breeding
Manners
Family Swimming Pool: A small body of water completely surrounded by other people’s children.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family Swimming Pool
Courtship: When a fellow and a girl are always trying to show how smart he is.
Anonymous
Definitions
Relationships
Courtship
Violinist: A high-strung musician.
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Music
Wordplay
Violinist
Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Page 18 of 78
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