Subject: Definitions (Page 18)

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Pun: A short quip followed by a long groan.

Definitions

Prophylactic: A rubber check.

Definitions

Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it. 

Age Definitions

Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink

Vacation: A change of routine that makes you feel good enough to go back to work and poor enough to have to.

Definitions

Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.

Definitions Government Taxes

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

Epigram: A wisecrack that played Carnegie Hall.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Definitions Language

Oppose: To assist with obstructions and objections.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.

Definitions Wordplay

Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.

Definitions Intelligence

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Definitions Sex

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death Definitions

Baby: An inhabitant of Lapland.

Children Definitions Family

Agnostic: A person who says that he knows nothing about God and, when you agree with him, he becomes angry.

Beliefs Definitions God

Star: A performer who makes more than his or her agent.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

Advertising: The rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Definitions

Underwater Swimmer: One who practices submersive activitites.

Activities Definitions

Forger: A man who is always ready to write a wrong.

Definitions