Subject: Definitions (Page 18)

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Bore: A person who deprives you with solitude without providing company.


Definitions People

Fruitcake: The gift that keeps on giving.

Definitions

Freelance: To collect unemployment.

Definitions Work

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir.

Definitions

Perfume: What a woman hopes will make her the scenter of attention.

Definitions Wordplay

Work: An unpopular way to earn money.

Definitions Work

Birthday: Anniversary of one’s birth, observed only by men and children.

Age Definitions

Caramel: A substance for extracting children’s teeth.

Definitions Food/Drink

Cemetery: A place people are dying to get into.

Definitions

Clique: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

Ignoramus: Someone who doesn’t know something that you learned yesterday.

Definitions Intelligence

Puttering: Woman’s word for man’s work.

Definitions

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Clever Woman: One who knows how to give a man her own way.

Definitions

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Definitions

Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.

Definitions Money

Reform: To gain or lose weight.

Appearance Body Definitions

Expert: A person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

Definitions

Seamstress: 250 pounds in a size 6.

Appearance Definitions Fat