Subject: Definitions (Page 19)

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Wedding Ring: A one-man band.

Definitions Marriage

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions

Philanthropist: One who returns to the people publicly what he steals from them privately.

Definitions People

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

Bigamist: A man who marries a beautiful girl and a good cook.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Insanity: Knowing that what you’re doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can’t stop it.

Definitions

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

Definitions

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

Consciousness: The annoying time between naps.

Definitions

Window: A looking-out glass.

Definitions Things

Fad: A folly committed by enough of the right people to confer upon it the badge of status.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Martial Arts: A family of Asiatic self-defense disciplines consisting largely of sweeping ornamental gestures of the arms and legs – amusing to look at but disappointingly ineffective when one’s opponent is armed with a semi-automatic.

Definitions

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

Communication Conversation Definitions Intelligence Speech

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

Quiet: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.

Children Definitions Family

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Disinheritance: Heir cut.

Definitions

Hair dresser: Someone who is able to create a hair style you will never be able to duplicate again.

Definitions

Advertising: That which makes you think you’ve longed all your life for something you never even heard of.

Communication Definitions

X-chromosome: A genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Women

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time