Subject: Definitions (Page 19)

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No Exit: A sign indicating the most convenient way out of a building.

Definitions

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

Age Definitions Old

Egotism: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Thingy: Female Interpretation: Any part under a car’s hood; Male Interpretation: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

Definitions Men Things Women

Advice: Something which we give by the bushel but take by the grain.

Definitions

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions

Honeymoon: The vacation a man takes before starting to work for a new boss.

Definitions Marriage

Quality Control: The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.

Definitions

Garage: An attic on a lower level.

Definitions

Congratulation: The civility of envy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Expert: A man who is seldom in doubt, but often in error.

Definitions

Broom: Witch craft.

Definitions

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

Price: Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.

Age Definitions

Puritan: A person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.

Definitions

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are.

Definitions Family People

Great Timesaver: Love at first sight.

Definitions