Subject: Definitions (Page 19)

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Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Definitions Food/Drink

Petting: The study of anatomy in braille.

Definitions Sex

Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government

Discretion: A sense that comes to a man too late to do him any good.

Definitions

Connoisseur: One who attains an obsessive knowledge of wines, audio equipment, cats or French cheeses so as to confer a sense of inadequacy on those who would simply enjoy them.

Definitions

Originality: The art of concealing your source.

Definitions

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

Billboards: Litter on a stick.

Definitions

Yesterday: The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Age Definitions Time Young

America: A nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there.

America Definitions Places

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death Definitions

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Abasement: A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth and power.

Definitions

Eskimos: God’s frozen people.

Definitions People

Technology: The knack of so arranging the world that we need not experience it.

(1911 – 1991) Swiss playwright & novelist
Definitions Science/Weather

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

Youth: That brief period, as distinguished from childhood or middle age, when the sexes talk to each other at a party.

Age Definitions People Young

Bank: An institution that will gladly lend you money provided you can prove you don’t need it.

Definitions Money

Neurotic: A person who, when you ask how she is, tells you.

Definitions People