Subject: Definitions (Page 2)

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Deliberation: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

An allowance is what you pay your children to live with you.

Children Definitions Family

Hot Pants: Breeches of promise.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Gardener: A man who never lets grass grow under his feet.

Definitions

Multitasking: Messing up several chores at the same time.

Activities Definitions

Spinster: A lady in waiting.

Definitions People Women

Flood: A river too big for its bridges.

Definitions

Woodpecker: A knocking bird.

Definitions

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language Money

Mugger: A benevolent citizen of the streets who frequently spares the lives of total strangers in exchange for any cash and valuables in their possession.

Crime Definitions

Woman: An animal… having rudimentary susceptibility to domestication… The species is the most widely distributed of all beast of prey… The woman is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Men People

Hallucination: A belief owned exclusively by one person.

Definitions

Booby Trap: A brassiere.

Definitions

Glutton: A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Eating

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work

Fine Print: A clause for suspicion.

Definitions

Plagiarize: To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Reading/Writing

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money.

Acting Definitions Entertainment

Rumor: A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations