Subject: Definitions (Page 20)

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Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

Vacation: A period during which people find out where to stay away from next year.

Definitions

State-Of-The-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

Definitions

Diet: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

April 1: The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364.

Definitions Fools Intelligence

Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.

Definitions Money

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist
Definitions Work

Government Bureau: Where the taxpayer’s shirt is kept.

Definitions Government Taxes

Acorn: An oak in a nutshell.

Definitions

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Calculus: The branch of mathematics that is so scary it causes everybody to stop studying mathematics.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Definitions Science/Weather

Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Management: A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more-talented underlings.

Definitions Work

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Guest towel: A small square of non-absorbent fabric surrounded by waterproof embroidery.

Definitions Things

Price: Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Courtship: A man pursuing a woman until she catches him.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.

Definitions Occupations

Calendar: An attempt, underwritten by the principal religions, to make the heavenly bodies keep regular hours.

Definitions

Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.

Age Definitions

Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.

Definitions Health