Subject: Definitions (Page 21)

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Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Activities Definitions

Homosexual: A man’s man.

Definitions Men

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Neighbors: People who live near you, who are never around when you need to borrow power tools or jumper cables, but who are everywhere when you are having a heated argument with your spouse.

Definitions People

American Idealism: Being willing to make any sacrifice that won’t hurt business.

Definitions

Absolute Pitch: Completely dark.

Definitions

Accordionated: Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Definitions Wordplay

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

Discriminate: To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language People

Genealogy: An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Family Past

I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.

Definitions

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Gardening: Man’s effort to improve his lot.

Activities Definitions

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

Appearance Body Definitions

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

Activities Definitions Games

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

College: A four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

Definitions Education School

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it.

Animals Definitions Food/Drink

Reunion: When you meet people your own age who all look a lot older than you.

Definitions People