Subject: Definitions (Page 21)

View All Definitions

Dark Ages: Knight time.

Definitions

Defame: To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies Truth

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Definitions Food/Drink

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Activities Definitions

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

Man: An animal [whose]… chief occupation is the extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People Women

Vacuum Cleaner: A sonic broom.

Definitions Things

Cynic: A man who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.

Definitions Food/Drink

Numismatics: Collecting money for fun.

Definitions

Acoustic: An instrument used in shooting pool.

Definitions

Aardvark: In the beginning was the word. And the word was ‘Aardvark.’

Communication Definitions Language

Diet: A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds.

Definitions Food/Drink

Hat: Something the average man covers his head with, the beggar passes around, the statesman throws into the ring, and the politician talks through.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

Gardening: Man’s effort to improve his lot.

Activities Definitions

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,614 times a day.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Modesty: Being comfortable that others will soon discover your greatness.

Definitions Self

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

Wood: That remarkable material which burns so easily in a forest and with such difficulty in a fireplace.

Definitions

Ideologue: Typically an obscure humorless zealot who finds fulfillment by spouting the ideas of famous humorless zealots.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Beliefs Definitions