Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 21)
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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs
Definitions
Faith
Knowledge
Darling: The popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.
Oliver Herford
(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Definitions
Darling
Names
Inhibition: Being tied up in nots.
Anonymous
Definitions
Inhibition
Umbrella: A movable roof.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Umbrella
Matrimony: A knot tied by a preacher and untied by a lawyer.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Matrimony
Prostitute: A busy body.
Anonymous
Definitions
Prostitute
Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
Anonymous
Death
Definitions
Eulogy
Praise
Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.
Anonymous
Definitions
Friends
Wordplay
Sewing Circle
Democracy: A state of mind in which every man is as good as every other man, provided he really is.
Anonymous
Definitions
Democracy
Government
Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Language
Interpreter
Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.
Anonymous
Definitions
Kleptomaniac
Learned Fool: One who has read everything, and simply remembered it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Intelligence
Learned Fool
Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Government Deficit
Calculus: The branch of mathematics that is so scary it causes everybody to stop studying mathematics.
Dave Barry
(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Definitions
Science/Weather
Calculus
Mathematics
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.
Oscar Ameringer
(1870-1943) German-American politician, socialist & writer
Definitions
Government
Politics
Fanatic: One who, having lost sight of his goal, redoubles his efforts.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Fanatics
Alimony: A splitting headache.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Alimony
Gold Digger: A woman after all.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Women
Wordplay
Gold Digger
Delta: A river with its mouth full of mud.
Anonymous
Definitions
Delta
Rivers
Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist’s bills.
Anonymous
Definitions
Cavity
Dentists
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Anonymous
Definitions
Divorce
Marriage
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