Subject: Definitions (Page 21)

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Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

Babysitter: One who accepts hush money.

Definitions

Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People

Window Dresser: A girl who doesn’t pull down the shades.

Definitions People

Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink

Vacation: A period during which people find out where to stay away from next year.

Definitions

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

Umbilical Cord: Baby bungee.

Definitions

Cardiology: The study of poker playing.

Activities Definitions

Fish: An animal that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time a fisherman describes it to his friends.

Activities Animals Definitions

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

Jury: A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

Definitions

Vice: A function to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

Definitions

Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all modern improvements.

Death Definitions

Abscond: To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Crime Definitions

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

Drama Critic: A person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

Definitions Occupations Reviews/Criticism

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Activities Definitions

Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions