Subject: Definitions (Page 21)

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Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Twins: Womb-mates.

Definitions

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Taxes

Director: The one who always faces the music.

Definitions Music

Altar-Boy: A type of bicycle accident.

Definitions

Cardiology: The study of poker playing.

Activities Definitions

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.

Clothing Definitions

Tact: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say. 

Definitions

Self-made Man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.

Definitions

Know-it-all: One who pretends to know something about everything but really knows nothing about anything.

Definitions

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Definitions Self

Cold War: Hot peace.

Conflict Definitions

Diet: Something to take the starch out of you.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Absolute Pitch: Completely dark.

Definitions

Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.

Definitions Emotions Happiness

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

Tube Dress: A dress which is an extended boob tube.

Clothing Definitions

Babysitter: One who accepts hush money.

Definitions

Diplomat: If you have the advantage over someone, and you lead him to think that he has the advantage over you, without giving him the chance to take advantage of you.

Definitions Government