Subject: Definitions (Page 22)

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Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Taxes

Adherent: A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.

Definitions People

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.

Definitions Marriage

Ambition: Goaled rush.

Definitions

Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.

Definitions Occupations Work

Professional model: cheekbones that sell cosmetics; hipbones that sell anorexia.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Appearance Body Definitions

Optimist: Someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.

Definitions

Dorito Syndrome: Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content.

Definitions Food/Drink

Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

Definitions

An allowance is what you pay your children to live with you.

Children Definitions Family

Delaware: A state that has three counties when the tide is out, and two when it is in.

(1833 – 1900) American politician
Definitions

Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.

Definitions Government Politicians

Suntan: A pigment of your imagination.

Definitions

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other word.

Definitions Language

Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.

Age Definitions

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government Law

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your own way.

Definitions