Subject: Definitions (Page 23)

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Experience: In the working world, something you can’t get unless you’ve already got it, in which case you probably don’t want any more of it.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Bureaucracy: A system that enables ten men to do the work of one.

Definitions Government

Major: Area of study that no longer interests you.

Definitions Education Learning

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

Definitions Marriage

Debts: The certain outcome of an uncertain income.

Definitions Money

Altar: To change through marriage.

Definitions Marriage

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Definitions Mistakes

Eccentric: A man too rich to be called crazy.

Definitions People

Clergyman: A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.

Definitions Occupations

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money.

Acting Definitions Entertainment

Sound Sleeper: Someone who snores.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Connoisseur: One who attains an obsessive knowledge of wines, audio equipment, cats or French cheeses so as to confer a sense of inadequacy on those who would simply enjoy them.

Definitions

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

Definitions

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.

Definitions Occupations

Interior Decorator: A man who does things to your house he wouldn’t dream of doing to his own.

Definitions Occupations

Work: An unpopular way to earn money.

Definitions Work

Middle age: When a woman’s hair starts turning from gray to black.

Age Appearance Definitions Hair

Kill: To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death Definitions Killing

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health