Subject: Definitions (Page 23)

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Democracy: A system whereby the person who never votes can cuss out the man the other people elected.

Definitions Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Definitions

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Engagement: The time a girl takes until she finds out if she can do any better.

Definitions Relationships

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Definitions

Tissue: Your daily nosepaper.

Definitions Wordplay

Upgraded: Didn't work the first time.

Definitions Situations

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

Interpreter: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter’s advantage for the other to have said.

Communication Definitions Language

Marriage: A  relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Definitions Marriage

Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

Clothing Definitions

Bank Robber: A guy who gets alarmed easily.

Definitions

Distant Relative: One who can be very distant – especially when he has lots of money.

Definitions Family

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

Philanthropist: One who gives away what he should give back.

Definitions

Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more.

Activities Definitions

Chip Shot: A short, low approach shot that gets a player into position for one or more missed puts.

Definitions Golf Sports

Antiques: Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.

Definitions

Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language