Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Definitions
(Page 24)
View All Definitions
Secret: What we tell everybody to tell nobody.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs
Definitions
Secrets
Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Music
Things
Accordion
Yearbook: A book of pictures that get nerdier with time.
Anonymous
Definitions
Yearbook
Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Language
Linguist
Avoidance: A dance for people who hate each other.
Anonymous
Definitions
Avoidance
Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.
Anonymous
Definitions
Clarification
Zeal: A nervous disorder affecting the young and inexperienced.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Zeal
Sarcasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Sarcasm
Tips: Wages we pay other people’s help.
Anonymous
Definitions
Tips
Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Money
Chance
Insurance
Widow: A woman who knows her husband’s whereabouts at all times.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Widow
Quiet: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
Anonymous
Children
Definitions
Family
Quiet
Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.
Anonymous
Definitions
Civilization
Optimist: Someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.
Anonymous
Definitions
Optimist
Nepotism: A form of favoritism – relatively speaking.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Nepotism
Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.
Anonymous
Body
Definitions
Occupations
Strip Teaser
Pocket Watch: A watch for people who don’t like having time on their hands.
Anonymous
Definitions
Time
Pocket Watch
Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Time
Year
Home: A place where man goes to raise a fuss because something went wrong at the office.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Home
Aground: When a boat makes the discovery that all water has land under it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Aground
Boats
Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
Anonymous
Definitions
Dirt
Page 24 of 78
« First
« Previous
22
23
24
25
26
Next »
Last »