Subject: Definitions (Page 24)

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Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.

Definitions Health

Absentee: A missing golfing peg.

Definitions Golf Sports

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time; the man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Activities Definitions

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Antique: An object that has made a round trip to the attic.

Definitions Things

Foosball: A combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

Activities Definitions

Hospital Room: A place where friends of the patient go to talk to other friends of the patient.

Definitions

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Definitions Future Time

Boss: A person who comes early to see who comes late.

Definitions Work

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay

Balanced Diet: A cookie in each hand.

Definitions

Automobile: A payment plan on wheels.

Autos Definitions Things

Cigarette: A bit of tobacco with a fire at one end and a fool at the other.

Definitions

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

Dictator: One who thinks he can take it – no matter to whom it belongs.

Definitions

Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

Crime Death Definitions Killing

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

X-chromosome: A genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Women

Judge: A law student who grades his own papers.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Definitions Law

Waiter: A guy who believes money grows on a tray.

Definitions Occupations Work

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions