Subject: Definitions (Page 24)

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Sterile Solution: Vasectomy.

Definitions

Blurt: To speak the truth.

Definitions Speech

Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.

Definitions Marriage Time

Advertising: The rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Definitions

Traffic Light: A trick to get pedestrians halfway across the street safely.

Autos Definitions Things

Clothes Dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks.

Definitions Things

Cricket: A game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity.

Definitions Sports

Newspaper: A publication that condemns gambling and promotes lottery numbers.

Definitions

Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.

Communication Definitions Language

Ant: A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics.

Animals Definitions

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money.

Definitions Things

Bigamist: A man who keeps two himself.

Definitions Marriage

Recursion: If you still don't get it, See: Recursion.

Definitions

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

Centimeter: A parking meter that takes pennies.

Definitions

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

Hospitality: The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

Definitions

Consultation: A medical term meaning “share the wealth.”

Definitions

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Definitions Occupations