Subject: Definitions (Page 24)

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Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Clothing Definitions

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

Spanking: To impress upon the mind from the bottom up.

Definitions

False Pregnancy: Laboring under a misconception.

Definitions

Leftovers: Repast history.

Definitions Food/Drink

Harp: A piano in the nude.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Paunch: A bulging trunk.

Appearance Body Definitions

A true gentleman is a man who may know how to play the bagpipes – but doesn’t.

Definitions

Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.

Body Definitions

Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Definitions Men People

The Chinese food in China is not better than the Chinese food here, mostly because of differences of definitions of words that we have – like, for example, 'beef.'

(1960 – ) American comedian
Communication Definitions Food/Drink Language

Users: Computer users are divided into three types: Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people's computers.

Computers Definitions People Things

Tact: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say. 

Definitions

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are.

Definitions Family People

Parking Space: An unoccupied place on the other side of the street.

Definitions

Discretion: A sense that comes to a man too late to do him any good.

Definitions

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Overeat: To dine.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Eating Food/Drink Language

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Definitions

Woman: A creature who is either making a fool out of man, or making a man out of a fool.

Definitions People