Subject: Definitions (Page 25)

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Aground: When a boat makes the discovery that all water has land under it.

Definitions

Realtor: A man with lots to sell.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

Impossible Lie: In golf, a ball that is in a position that is both completely obstructed by an immovable object and continuously observed by an incorruptible player.

Definitions Golf Sports

Cemetery: A place people are dying to get into.

Definitions

Vegetable: A substance used to ballast a child’s plate while it’s carried to and from the table.

Definitions Food/Drink

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Communication Definitions Language

Jury: A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

Definitions

Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

Definitions

Accident: When presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Definitions Problems

Pessimist: A person who looks at a doughnut and sees nothing but the hole.

Definitions

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

Definitions

Tricycle: A tot rod.

Definitions

Second Place: The first loser.

Definitions

Diet Planner: A fast talker.

Definitions

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

Optimist: Someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.

Definitions

Newlywed: A man who puts up the storm windows the first time his wife suggests it.

Definitions Marriage

Righteous Indignation: Your own wrath, as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

Anger Definitions Emotions

Apparently: As either mother or father would do it.

Definitions