Subject: Definitions (Page 25)

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Road: A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Autos Definitions Things Travel

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

Appendix: A portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use.

Definitions

Righteous Indignation: Your own wrath, as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

Anger Definitions Emotions

Peeping Tom: A window fan.

Definitions Wordplay

Caramel: A substance for extracting children’s teeth.

Definitions Food/Drink

Night Club: A place where they take the rest out of restaurant and put the din in dinner.

Definitions Places

Skeptic: One who won’t take know for an answer.

Definitions People

Hypochondriac: Someone who enjoys bad health.

Definitions Health

Family Planning: Having all your children while their grandparents are still young enough to be babysitters.

Children Definitions Family

Quiet: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.

Children Definitions Family

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Definitions

Sarcasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.

Communication Definitions

Congress: A body of men brought together to slow down the government.

Congress Definitions Government

Pediatrician: Man of little patients.

Definitions Doctors Health Wordplay

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Definitions Intelligence People Self

Egotism: An anesthetic that nature gives to a man to deaden the pain of being a darn fool.

Definitions

Good Sport: One who will always let you have your own way.

Definitions

Childhood: The rapidly shrinking interval between infancy and first arrest on a drug or weapons charge.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions