Subject: Definitions (Page 25)

View All Definitions

Alarm clock: An instrument used to wake up people who have no kids.

Children Definitions Family Things

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.

Definitions Places

Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Vuja de: The feeling you've never been here.

Definitions

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

Definitions

Executive: An under-worked, over-paid person who is in over their head.

Definitions Occupations

Zoo: A pleasant and instructive wildlife park, lately denounced for depriving animals of their right to starve or be eaten alive in their natural habitats.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Animals Definitions

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Definitions People

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away.

Definitions Occupations

Showoff: A child who is more talented than yours.

Children Definitions Family

Fidelity : A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Marriage

Advertising: That which makes you think you’ve longed all your life for something you never even heard of.

Communication Definitions

Sweater: Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Appearance Clothing Definitions

Kiss: A course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.

Definitions

Harp: A piano in the nude.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Dieting: The triumph of mind over platter.

Definitions

Consultant: Someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Definitions

False Pregnancy: Laboring under a misconception.

Definitions

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Appearance Body Definitions

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

Definitions Marriage