Subject: Definitions (Page 25)

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Upgraded: Didn't work the first time.

Definitions Situations

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

Good Neighbor: One who doesn’t borrow his garden hose back too often.

Definitions

Nepotism: A form of favoritism – relatively speaking.

Definitions Family

Communism: Nobody’s got nothin’, but everybody’s workin’.

Definitions

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

Fitness: Salvation through perspiration.

Definitions

Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.

Age Definitions

Lawyer: Men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.

Definitions Lawyers

Belong: To take your time.

Definitions

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called ‘slight’ when its object is poor and ‘intimate’ when he is rich or famous.

Definitions People

Definition of a Jewish nymphomaniac: A woman who will make love the same day she has her hair done.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Definitions Sex Women

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.

Definitions Things

Grass: The green stuff that wilts in the yard and flourishes in the garden.

Definitions

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men

X-chromosome: A genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Women

Overeat: To dine.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Eating Food/Drink Language

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes