Subject: Definitions (Page 25)

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Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

Price: Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Vacation: A change of routine that makes you feel good enough to go back to work and poor enough to have to.

Definitions

Shakespeare: A man whose writings are so excellent it’s believed someone else must have written them.

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Umpire: The original strike arbitrator.

Definitions Wordplay

Disinheritance: Heir cut.

Definitions

Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.

Definitions Future Time

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?

(1965 – ) English comedian, musician, actor & author
Definitions History Time

Numismatics: Collecting money for fun.

Definitions

Arson: Fire caused by friction between the insurance policy and the mortgage.

Definitions

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Definitions Old

Will: A dead giveaway.

Death Definitions

Amnesty: The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

Definitions

Executive: An under-worked, over-paid person who is in over their head.

Definitions Occupations

Lawyer: Men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.

Definitions Lawyers

Communism: Nobody’s got nothin’, but everybody’s workin’.

Definitions

Hindsight: What one experiences from changing too many diapers.

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Y Chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only.

Definitions Men People

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Definitions Family