Subject: Definitions (Page 26)

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Coffee: Break fluid.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

Definitions

Shoplifter: A person with a gift of grab.

Conflict Crime Definitions

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

Thanks: A down payment on the next favor.

Definitions

Liberal: A man who feel’s it’s his responsibility to spend a Conservative’s money.

Beliefs Definitions People

Blurt: To speak the truth.

Definitions Speech

Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Television Programming: Material that fills the time between commercials.

Definitions Entertainment

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

Gigolo: A fee-male.

Definitions Wordplay

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

Mission Statement: A long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly.

Definitions

X Chromosome: Sex chromosome responsible for the desire of dust ruffles, pillow shams, potpourris soap operas and ballroom dancing.

Definitions People Women

Humility: The ability to act ashamed when you tell people how wonderful you are.

Definitions

Misconception: A pregnancy occurring while taking birth control pills.

Definitions

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

Old Age: When you don’t recognize either the host or the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

Age Definitions

Desire: The thing that is so often nipped in the budget.

Definitions Emotions

Optimist: Someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.

Definitions