Subject: Definitions (Page 26)

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Conscience: An inner voice that warns us somebody is watching.

Definitions

Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.

Definitions Government Politicians

Filing Cabinet: A place where you lose things alphabetically.

Definitions

Florida: God's waiting room.

Definitions Places

Passport: A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Definitions Individuals Things Travel

Culture: The visible evidence of a tribe of bacteria, as observed by microbiologists or cynics.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

Connoisseur: One who attains an obsessive knowledge of wines, audio equipment, cats or French cheeses so as to confer a sense of inadequacy on those who would simply enjoy them.

Definitions

Polygamy – the art of  parrot-folding.

comic actor-writer
Communication Definitions Wordplay

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

Glutton: A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink People

Philosophy: Common sense in a dress suit.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Kleenex: Your daily nose-paper.

Definitions

Creditor: A man who has a better memory than a debtor.

Definitions

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Apartment: A place where the landlord and the tenant are both trying to raise the rent.

Definitions

Dieting: The triumph of mind over platter.

Definitions