Subject: Definitions (Page 26)

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Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

X: The signature of a happy man.

Definitions

Frisbeetarianism: The belief that, when you die, your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

Definitions

Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape.

Definitions Wordplay

Absent: The notation generally following your name in a class record.

Definitions

Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Life: A breathing spell.

Definitions Life

Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.

Definitions Places

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language Money

Honeymoon: The morning after the knot before.

Communication Definitions Marriage

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

Colleague: The person to whom one passes the buck.

Definitions

Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.

Definitions Government Taxes

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.

Definitions Golf Sports

Brute Force: When your brain doesn’t work, just keep beating on the problem until one of you dies.

Definitions

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Definitions Wordplay

Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Definitions Food/Drink

Balanced Diet: A cookie in each hand.

Definitions

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women