Subject: Definitions (Page 27)

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X Chromosome: a genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

Definitions Men People

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Definitions Golf Sports

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

Wisdom: Knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Bill Collector: A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again.

Definitions

Ice Fishing: Winter fishing method in which anglers use a variety of specialized equipment to catch colds.

Definitions

I guess the definition of a lunatic is a man surrounded by them.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Definitions Intelligence People

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

Theory: A hunch with a college education.

Definitions

Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.

Definitions

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Things

Expert: A person who knows enough to complicate simple matters.

Definitions

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

Kin: An affliction of the blood.

Definitions Family

Makeup: What it takes to look natural.

Appearance Definitions

Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.

Definitions Places

Hypochondriac: Someone who enjoys bad health.

Definitions Health

Old Age: When you don’t recognize either the host or the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

Age Definitions