Subject: Definitions (Page 27)

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Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 p.m…. never at 5 a.m.

Definitions

Brassiere: A bust stop.

Clothing Definitions

Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.

Definitions

Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.

Definitions Future Time

Convent: A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions

Shallowness: The root cause of chronic good health, high school popularity, appearance on the fiction bestseller lists, and gainful employment on local tv news broadcasts.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Toast: The only thing that can be eaten or drunk.

Definitions

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

Arthritis: Twinges in the hinges.

Definitions Health

Footnote: Useless information placed where you can skip it.

Definitions

Maps: The shorthand of geography.

Definitions

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Occupations Work

Director: The one who always faces the music.

Definitions Music

Intimacy: A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Fools

Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Honesty

Diaper: A changeable seat cover.

Definitions

Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

Definitions Language

Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.

Definitions

Quality of Life: What an industrialized nation is said to offer when enough of its citizens are suffering from terminal stress.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Phillips Screwdriver: Used  to round off Phillips screw heads.

Definitions Things