Subject: Definitions (Page 27)

Monument: A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Communism: Nobody’s got nothin’, but everybody’s workin’.

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Honesty: The fear of being caught.

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.

Blurt: To speak the truth.

Communist: A fellow who will gladly divide his hunger and thirst with you if you’ll divide your beer and salami with him.

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Bride: A gal who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband has carried her over the threshold.

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Broom: Witch craft.

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Vulgarity: The conduct of others.

Friends: There are two kinds of friends – those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you.

Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Heredity: What a man believes in until his son begins to behave like a delinquent.

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

Aversion: One side of a disputed story.

Ability: What will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.