Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 27)
View All Definitions
Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 p.m…. never at 5 a.m.
Anonymous
Definitions
Farm
Brassiere: A bust stop.
Anonymous
Clothing
Definitions
Bra
Brassiere
Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.
Anonymous
Definitions
Yardstick
Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.
Anonymous
Definitions
Future
Time
Tomorrow
Convent: A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Convent
Shallowness: The root cause of chronic good health, high school popularity, appearance on the fiction bestseller lists, and gainful employment on local tv news broadcasts.
Rick Bayan
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions
Shallowness
Toast: The only thing that can be eaten or drunk.
Anonymous
Definitions
Toast
Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Occupations
Work
Critics
Arthritis: Twinges in the hinges.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Arthritis
Footnote: Useless information placed where you can skip it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Footnote
Maps: The shorthand of geography.
Anonymous
Definitions
Maps
Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.
Anonymous
Definitions
Friends
Wordplay
Sewing Circle
Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.
Rick Bayan
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions
Occupations
Work
Author
Director: The one who always faces the music.
Anonymous
Definitions
Music
Director
Intimacy: A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Fools
Intimacy
Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Definitions
Honesty
Truthful
Diaper: A changeable seat cover.
Anonymous
Definitions
Diaper
Clichés: Fixtures of speech.
Anonymous
Definitions
Language
Cliches
Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.
Anonymous
Definitions
Celebrity
Quality of Life: What an industrialized nation is said to offer when enough of its citizens are suffering from terminal stress.
Rick Bayan
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions
Quality of life
Phillips Screwdriver: Used to round off Phillips screw heads.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Phillips Screwdriver
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