Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Thursday, April 3, 2025
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 27)
View All Definitions
Monument: A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Commemoration
Monument
Communism: Nobody’s got nothin’, but everybody’s workin’.
Anonymous
Definitions
Communism
Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Speech
Auctioneer
Honesty: The fear of being caught.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Honesty
Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bridegroom
Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Politicians
Blurt: To speak the truth.
Anonymous
Definitions
Speech
Blurt
Communist: A fellow who will gladly divide his hunger and thirst with you if you’ll divide your beer and salami with him.
Anonymous
Definitions
Communist
Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Bride: A gal who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband has carried her over the threshold.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Wives
Bride
Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.
Anonymous
Definitions
Brainstorm
Think
Broom: Witch craft.
Anonymous
Definitions
Broom
District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
District of Columbia
Vulgarity: The conduct of others.
Definitions
Friends: There are two kinds of friends – those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you.
Anonymous
Definitions
Friends
People
Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.
Anonymous
Definitions
Men
Women
Sidesaddle
Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Jealousy
Heredity: What a man believes in until his son begins to behave like a delinquent.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Heredity
Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.
Rick Bayan
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions
Occupations
Work
Author
Aversion: One side of a disputed story.
Anonymous
Definitions
Aversion
Ability: What will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.
Anonymous
Definitions
Ability
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