Subject: Definitions (Page 27)

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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Teenagers: People who get hungry again before the dishes are even washed.

Age Definitions

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.

Definitions

Craze: The other guy’s hobby.

Definitions

Defame: To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies Truth

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence

Sociology: Journalism without news.

Definitions

Opportunist: A person who, finding himself in hot water, decides he needs a bath anyway.

Definitions Situations

Lottery: The equivalent of betting that the next pope will be from Duluth, or that the parrot in the pet store window speaks Flemish.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Gardener: Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up.

Definitions

Book Jacket: A fable of contents.

Definitions

Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.

Definitions Men Women

Antique: Something too old to be anything but too expensive.

Definitions Things

Reformer: One who wants his conscience to be your guide.

Definitions

Aground: When a boat makes the discovery that all water has land under it.

Definitions

Detour: Something that lengthens your mileage, diminishes your gas, and strengthens your vocabulary.

Activities Definitions Travel

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

Taxes: A funding method which allows people to test their powers of deduction.

Definitions Taxes

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law