Subject: Definitions (Page 28)

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Dandruff: Chips off the old block.

Definitions

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

Intuition: That strange instinct that tells a woman she is right, whether she is or not.

Characteristics Definitions People Women

Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.

Definitions Emotions

Chauffeur: A man who is smart enough to operate an automobile, but clever enough not to own one.

Autos Definitions Things

Tricycle: A tot rod.

Definitions

Ad Hoc: Pawn shop advertisement.

Definitions

Birthday: Anniversary of one’s birth, observed only by men and children.

Age Definitions

Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.

Definitions Men Women

American Way: Using instant coffee to dawdle away an hour.

Definitions

Weed: A plant whose virtues have not been discovered.

Definitions

Rejoinder: Married his ex.

Definitions Marriage

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Diplomacy: The ability to take something and make the other fellow believe he is giving it away.

Definitions

Doctor: A man who suffers from good health.

Definitions Doctors

Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.

Definitions

Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.

Definitions Health

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

Summer Camps: Those places where little boys go for mother’s vacation.

Activities Definitions

Education: A technique employed to open minds so that they may go from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Definitions Education

Beauty parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.

Definitions