Subject: Definitions (Page 28)

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Negotiating: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Money

Patriotism: The willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.

Death Definitions

Sympathizer: A fellow that’s for you as long as it doesn’t cost anything.

Definitions

Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

Automated: A couple making love in a car.

Definitions

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof. 

Age Definitions

Orthodox: Bone doctors.

Definitions Doctors

Fruitcake: The gift that keeps on giving.

Definitions

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn.

Definitions

Forty: The most difficult age for a woman to pass; it often takes years.

Age Definitions

Spanking: Stern punishment.

Definitions

Erudite: Exhibiting a degree of book learning fatal to success in any business or romantic enterprise.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Aground: When a boat makes the discovery that all water has land under it.

Definitions

Kiss: What the child gets free, the young man steals, and the old man buys.

Definitions

The best definition of an honest politician is one who… when he is bought, stays bought.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Definitions Government Politicians

Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Definitions Mistakes

Educated Man: One who has finally discovered that there are some questions to which nobody has the answers.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Fish: An animal that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time a fisherman describes it to his friends.

Activities Animals Definitions

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

Definitions History Occupations Time Work

Wagging Tail: A happy ending.

Definitions