Subject: Definitions (Page 28)

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Scissors: A piece maker.

Definitions Things

Defame: To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies Truth

Zoo: A place devised for animals to study the habits of human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals Definitions People Places

Gardener: A man who never lets grass grow under his feet.

Definitions

Armor: A knight gown.

Clothing Definitions

Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

Clothing Definitions

Twice: Once too often.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Situations

Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

Houseplants: Vegetable companions.

Definitions

Abbreviation: Long word with, ironically, no obvious shorter alternative.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions Language Reading/Writing

Adam’s rib: the original bone of contention.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Definitions

Maps: The shorthand of geography.

Definitions

Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.

Definitions

Accordian: An instrument inharmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music

Vasectomy: Never having to say you’re sorry.

Definitions

Taxpayer: A person who has the government on his payroll.

Definitions Government Taxes

Pickpocket: A man who believes that every crowd has a silver lining.

Crime Definitions

Oar: Clumsy wooden implement used to moisten boat occupants.

Definitions Things

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes

State-Of-The-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

Definitions

Egotism: An anesthetic that nature gives to a man to deaden the pain of being a darn fool.

Definitions