Subject: Definitions (Page 29)

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Baby: An inhabitant of Lapland.

Children Definitions Family

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age Definitions

Night Club: A place where they take the rest out of restaurant and put the din in dinner.

Definitions Places

Tears: Remorse code.

Definitions Wordplay

Dentures: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one's grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

America: A nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there.

America Definitions Places

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Sympathy: What one woman offers another in exchange for details.

Definitions

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

Appearance Body Definitions

Conscience: An inner voice that warns us somebody is watching.

Definitions

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Definitions Self

Exhaustion: Sufficient cause for the hospitalization of a celebrity – the normal state of existence for the rest of the working world.

Definitions

Sales Resistance: The triumph of mind over patter.

Definitions

I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.

Definitions

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Definitions Marriage

Associate producer: Anybody who’s prepared to associate with a producer.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Definitions

Toupée: Top secret.

Appearance Definitions Hair

Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Tolerance: That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions