Subject: Definitions (Page 3)

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Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

Military Expert: One who tells you what’s going to happen tomorrow – then tells you why it didn’t.

Definitions Government Military

Group Discussion: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Definitions Science/Weather

Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?

(1965 – ) English comedian, musician, actor & author
Definitions History Time

Education: What you have left over when you subtract what you’ve forgotten from what you learned.

Definitions Education

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

Quagmire: Any situation more easily entered into than exited from; e.g., a guerrilla war, a bad marriage or a conversation with an insurance salesman.

Definitions

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Definitions Sex

Good Breeding: That quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service.

Definitions

Sleet: A slipcover.

Definitions Science/Weather

Editor: The fellow who makes a long story short.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

Logic: The art of going wrong with confidence.

Definitions

Indifference: A woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get.”

Definitions

Courtship: When a fellow gets so wrapped up in a girl that it’s easy to tie the knot.

Definitions Relationships

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Courage: Fear in action.

Definitions

Negotiating: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Money

Zeal: A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Young