Subject: Definitions (Page 3)

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Trombones: Bones in an orchestra.

Definitions

Zoo: A pleasant and instructive wildlife park, lately denounced for depriving animals of their right to starve or be eaten alive in their natural habitats.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Animals Definitions

Cemetery: An isolated spot, usually in a suburb, where mourners swap lies.

Definitions

Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Definitions

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Definitions

Efficiency Expert: A man who knows less about your business than you do and gets paid more for telling you how to run it than you could possibly make out of it, even if you ran it right instead of the way he told you to.

Definitions

Amateur Athlete: An athlete who is paid in cash, not by check..

Definitions

Wind: Weather on the go.

Definitions Science/Weather

Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Activities Definitions

Sport: War without killing.

Definitions

Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.

Definitions Emotions

Diet: What helps a person gain weight more slowly.

Definitions Food/Drink

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

Jury: A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

Definitions

Good Breeding: That quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service.

Definitions

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Definitions Sports

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Philanthropist: One who gives away what he should give back.

Definitions

Farm: A hunk of land on which, if you get up early enough mornings and work late enough nights, you’ll make a fortune – if you strike oil on it.

(1896 – 1988) American actor
Definitions TV/Movie Quotes

Scotsman: A man who, before sending his pajamas to the laundry, stuffs a sock in each pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Frugal Money People

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Definitions Mistakes