Subject: Definitions (Page 3)

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Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions

Virtue: Insufficient temptation.

Characteristics Definitions

Glutton: A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Eating

Pregnancy: The shape of things to come.

Definitions

Kidney: A complex organ used to convert beer into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Inch: Unit of measure whose length is consistently underestimated by men.

Definitions

Toupée: Top secret.

Appearance Definitions Hair

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

Definitions

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Definitions

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Future Time

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Definitions Food/Drink

Unitarian: One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Phillips Screwdriver: Used  to round off Phillips screw heads.

Definitions Things

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

Wig: A convertible top.

Appearance Definitions Hair

Necktie: A decorative noose worn by businessmen.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Clothing Definitions

Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Saint: A dead sinner, revised and edited.

Definitions People

Umbrella: A shelter for one and a shower for two.

Definitions Things