Subject: Definitions (Page 30)

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Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Definitions Men People

Cravings: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Definitions

Liposuction: A surgical procedure from which the patient emerges significantly lighter in both pounds and dollars.

Appearance Body Definitions Health

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Computers Definitions Things

Wedding License: A certificate that gives a woman the legal right to drive a man.

Definitions Marriage

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Yearbook: A book of pictures that get nerdier with time.

Definitions

Mixed Company: What you are in when you think of a story you can’t tell there.

Definitions People

Realtor: A man with lots to sell.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

Academy Awards: A place where everyone lets off esteem.

Definitions

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Definitions Relationships

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians

Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.

Definitions Science/Weather

Conscience: An inner voice that warns us somebody is watching.

Definitions

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground.

Animals Definitions

Horse: An oatsmobile.

Animals Definitions

I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.

Definitions

Ventriloquist: A man who never speaks for himself.

Communication Definitions Speech

Alcohol: A liquid good for preserving everything except secrets.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Chatterbox: Another name for a telephone booth.

Definitions Things

Fishing License: Permit issued upon payment of a modest fee that allows fishermen to lose lures in a specified area.

Activities Definitions