Subject: Definitions (Page 30)

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Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good;   (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Definitions Men People Women

Freelance: To collect unemployment.

Definitions Work

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language Money

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

Toupée: Top secret.

Definitions

B-Negative: A pessimist’s blood type.

Definitions

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

Congress Definitions Government

Argument: An exchange of ignorance.

Definitions

Calculus: The branch of mathematics that is so scary it causes everybody to stop studying mathematics.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Definitions Science/Weather

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions

Ache: Joint concern.

Body Definitions

Life: A play with a lousy third act.

Definitions Life

Faith: Not wanting to know what is true.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Beliefs Definitions

Childish Games: Those at which your wife beats you.

Activities Definitions Games

Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it. 

Age Definitions

Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.

Definitions Law Lawyers

Quiet: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.

Children Definitions Family

Apparently: As either mother or father would do it.

Definitions

Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

Definitions

Counsel: Advice with a price tag.

Definitions

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Definitions Men People Relationships