Subject: Definitions (Page 30)

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Pregnancy: The shape of things to come.

Definitions

Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting.

Definitions Work

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Definitions Wordplay

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

Definitions Opinion

Accident: When presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Definitions Problems

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Definitions Health Places

Genealogy: Chasing your own tale.

Definitions Family

Silicone Treatment: The bust that money can buy.

Appearance Body Definitions

Rear: In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Military

Teacher: A person who swore she would starve before teaching, and who has been doing both ever since.

Definitions Education

Tears: A good-bye product.

Definitions

Life: A span of time of which the first half is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Children Definitions Parents

Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Fights Politics Time

Life: A breathing spell.

Definitions Life

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

Philanthropist: One who gives away what he should give back.

Definitions

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.

Definitions Things

Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions

Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.

Definitions Emotions