Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 30)
View All Definitions
Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good; (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.
Anonymous
Definitions
Men
People
Women
Taste
Freelance: To collect unemployment.
Anonymous
Definitions
Work
Freelance
Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Individuals
Language
Money
Acquaintance
Baker: A person who kneads the dough.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Baker
Toupée: Top secret.
Anonymous
Definitions
Toupée
B-Negative: A pessimist’s blood type.
Anonymous
Definitions
Blood
Pessimists
Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.
Anonymous
Congress
Definitions
Government
Argument: An exchange of ignorance.
Anonymous
Definitions
Argument
Calculus: The branch of mathematics that is so scary it causes everybody to stop studying mathematics.
Dave Barry
(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Definitions
Science/Weather
Calculus
Mathematics
Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.
Anonymous
Definitions
Good Neighbor
Ache: Joint concern.
Anonymous
Body
Definitions
Ache
Life: A play with a lousy third act.
Anonymous
Definitions
Life
Faith: Not wanting to know what is true.
Friedrich Nietzsche
(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Beliefs
Definitions
Faith
Childish Games: Those at which your wife beats you.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Games
Childish Games
Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Middle age
Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.
Anonymous
Definitions
Law
Lawyers
Lawsuit
Quiet: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
Anonymous
Children
Definitions
Family
Quiet
Apparently: As either mother or father would do it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Apparently
Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.
Anonymous
Definitions
Fiddlesticks
Violins
Counsel: Advice with a price tag.
Anonymous
Definitions
Advice
Counsel
Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
Anonymous
Definitions
Men
People
Relationships
Bachelor
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