Subject: Definitions (Page 30)

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Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.

Beliefs Definitions People

Mixed Company: What you are in when you think of a story you can’t tell there.

Definitions People

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look “like a tramp.”

Appearance Definitions

Daughter: A person who Dad likes because she reminds him why he married his wife, and who Mom is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her.

Definitions Family

Budget: Telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.

Definitions

Altar: Place where a man loses control of himself.

Definitions Marriage

Morality: An instinctive sense of right and wrong that tells some people how everyone else should behave.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty

Free Verse: Verse written without rhyme or reason.

Definitions Reading/Writing

Great Timesaver: Love at first sight.

Definitions

Blurt: To speak the truth.

Definitions Speech

Bad Driver: The person you run into.

Autos Definitions Things

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Fern: A plant that you’re supposed to water once a day, and when you don’t it dies, but if you do it dies anyway, only not so soon.

Definitions

Flashlight: A case for storing dead batteries.

Definitions Things

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

American Idealism: Being willing to make any sacrifice that won’t hurt business.

Definitions

Amateur Athlete: An athlete who is paid in cash, not by check..

Definitions

Luxury Resort: One where a waiter expects a $2 tip when he presents a $6 bill for serving a $3.50 bottle of beer.

Definitions

Luck: An explanation for the other fellows’ success.

Definitions

Falsies: A helpful aid to any girl in acquiring a disappointed husband.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

Age Definitions Old