Subject: Definitions (Page 31)

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Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

Life: A breathing spell.

Definitions Life

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

Baby: Morning caller, noonday crawler, midnight bawler.

Children Definitions Family

Selfishness: Annoying quality of someone who has what I want, but is not prepared to give it to me.

Definitions

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions

Courtship: When a fellow and a girl are always trying to show how smart he is.

Definitions Relationships

Umbrella: A shelter for one and a shower for two.

Definitions Things

Younger Generation: A group that is alike in many disrespects.

Age Definitions People Young

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports

Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.

Definitions Future Time

Diaphragm: A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

Body Definitions Health

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Definitions Golf Sports

Prejudice: A great time-saver that enables one to form opinions without bothering to get the facts.

Definitions

Kill: To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death Definitions Killing

Scriptures: The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

Husband: One who stands by you in troubles you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t married him.

Definitions Marriage