Subject: Definitions (Page 31)

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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Definitions Old

Chatterbox: Another name for a telephone booth.

Definitions Things

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

Rational: Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Definitions

Management: A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more-talented underlings.

Definitions Work

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Cooking Definitions

Reckless Driver: One who passes you on the highway in spite of all you can do.

Definitions People

Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Activities Definitions

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away.

Definitions Occupations

Diamond: One of the hardest substances known to man – especially the payments on one.

Definitions Things

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Father’s Day: The annual day in June set aside so merchants can get rid of their leftover Christmas ties and shaving lotion.

Definitions Time

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Definitions

Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Body Definitions

Conservative: A liberal who has just been mugged.

Beliefs Definitions

Matrimony: A knot tied by a preacher and untied by a lawyer.

Definitions Marriage

Flirt: A girl who got the boy you wanted.

Definitions