Subject: Definitions (Page 31)

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Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Definitions Wordplay

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

Definitions

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Pocket Watch: A watch for people who don’t like having time on their hands.

Definitions Time

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Definitions Old

Experience: What you get from being inexperienced.

Definitions

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

Venereal Disease: Germs of endearment.

Definitions Health

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language Money

Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Something wrong with your eyes?”

Age Definitions

Know-it-all: One who pretends to know something about everything but really knows nothing about anything.

Definitions

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Chatterbox: Another name for a telephone booth.

Definitions Things

Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.

Definitions

Employment Agency: Where people are put in their place.

Definitions Work

Truce: Friendship.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions Relationships

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Definitions Self

Boundary: In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.

Definitions Places

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay