Subject: Definitions (Page 31)

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Billboards: Litter on a stick.

Definitions

Heredity: The bad traits a child gets from the other side of the family.

Definitions Family

Impossible Lie: In golf, a ball that is in a position that is both completely obstructed by an immovable object and continuously observed by an incorruptible player.

Definitions Golf Sports

Upgraded and Improved: Didn't work the second time.

Definitions Situations Things

Yodeling: Slope opera.

Definitions Wordplay

Middle Age: That period in life when your idea of getting ahead is staying even.

Age Definitions

Vacation: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

Definitions

Minor Operation: One performed on someone else.

Definitions Health

Underwear: An article of clothing which, when kept clean, ensures the wearer will never have an accident.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Yawn: It’s always dullest just before the yawn.

Definitions Wordplay

Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.

Communication Definitions Language

Electrician: A person who wires for money.

Definitions Occupations Work

Pessimist: A person who looks at a doughnut and sees nothing but the hole.

Definitions

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Tact: The ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Definitions

Double Jeopardy: When your doctor calls in a consulting physician.

Definitions Doctors Health

Diplomat: If you have the advantage over someone, and you lead him to think that he has the advantage over you, without giving him the chance to take advantage of you.

Definitions Government

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

Armadillo: Possum on the half shell.

Animals Definitions

Home: A place where man goes to raise a fuss because something went wrong at the office.

Definitions Places