Subject: Definitions (Page 32)

View All Definitions

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Minister: A travel agent for the straight and narrow.

Definitions

Plagiarism: Failure to adorn stolen ideas with footnotes, as opposed to scholarship, which repeatedly acknowledges the theft.

Definitions Ideas Reading/Writing

Righteous Indignation: Your own wrath, as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

Anger Definitions Emotions

Post Operative: Letter carrier

Definitions

Insomnia: contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Mission Statement: A long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly.

Definitions

Tolerance: That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Time: The arbitrary division of eternity.

Definitions Time

Misconception: A pregnancy occurring while taking birth control pills.

Definitions

Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.

Definitions Health

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

Accountability: The mother of caution.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Secret: Information you tell to one person at a time.

Definitions

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Definitions

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 p.m…. never at 5 a.m.

Definitions

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

Flashlight: A case for storing dead batteries.

Definitions Things

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Definitions Wordplay

Noise: Earitation.

Definitions