Subject: Definitions (Page 32)

Technology: The knack of so arranging the world that we need not experience it.

(1911 – 1991) Swiss playwright & novelist

Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

Luck: The thing that draws us for jury duty, but never for the lottery.

Quartet: Four men, all of whom think that the other three can’t sing.

Abstainer: A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

Strip Poker: A game in which the more you lose the more you have to show for it.

Ambiguity: The lack of clarity in speech… or perhaps, something else.

Skeptic: One who won’t take know for an answer.

Quality Control: The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion.

Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

Umbrella: A shelter for one and a shower for two.

Sadist: A person who is kind to a masochist.

Ambidextrous: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Demagogue: A man who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

Road: A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.