Subject: Definitions (Page 32)

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Bus: A vehicle that has empty seats when going in the opposite direction.

Definitions

Consolation: The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Apex: A gorilla’s old girlfriend.

Definitions Wordplay

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

Congress: A body of men brought together to slow down the government.

Congress Definitions Government

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Definitions Future Time

Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.

Age Definitions

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Culture: The visible evidence of a tribe of bacteria, as observed by microbiologists or cynics.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women

Learned Fool: One who has read everything, and simply remembered it.

Definitions Intelligence

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Dieting: The triumph of mind over platter.

Definitions

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

Ingrate: A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of indigestion.

Definitions People

Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

Lisp: To Call a spade a thpade.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Definitions

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Pacifist: A fellow who could attend a peace conference without getting into a fight.

Conflict Definitions Fights People

Etiquette: Learning to yawn with your mouth closed.

Definitions

Maps: The shorthand of geography.

Definitions