Subject: Definitions (Page 32)

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Dermatologist: Person who makes rash judgments.

Definitions Doctors Health

Apathy: Vigor mortis.

Definitions

Horse: An oatsmobile.

Animals Definitions

Scissors: A piece maker.

Definitions Things

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions

Bore: A person who deprives you with solitude without providing company.


Definitions People

Parole: A period at the end of a sentence.

Definitions

Heir Cut: Disinheritance.

Definitions

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

Testosterone: Hormone which causes facial hair, muscularity, a deep voice, speeding tickets, the desire to watch professional wrestling, Arnold Shwarzenegger movies, war, fist fights, and the need to purchase cocktails for women with names like “Boom Boom. ”

Definitions Men

Funeral Home: a stately manse occupied by transients who continually receive visitors but lack the energy and inclination to entertain them.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

Unimpeachable Source: The guy that started the rumor in the first place.

Definitions

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Family Swimming Pool: A small body of water completely surrounded by other people’s children.

Definitions

Racehorse: A fast means of redistributing wealth.

Activities Definitions

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

Definitions Frugal Money

Footnote: Useless information placed where you can skip it.

Definitions

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

Acrobat: The person who turns a flop into a success.

Definitions