Subject: Definitions (Page 33)

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Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, in addition to when it is removed.

Cooking Definitions

Patron: A customer who doesn't ask prices.

Definitions

The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly,’ meaning ‘many,’ and the word ‘ticks,’ meaning ‘blood sucking parasites.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Definitions Government Language Politics

Chip Shot: A short, low approach shot that gets a player into position for one or more missed puts.

Definitions Golf Sports

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

Husband: A polygamous animal in a monogamous strait-jacket.

Definitions Marriage

Modesty: Being comfortable that others will soon discover your greatness.

Definitions Self

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions

Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Love: The triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Definitions Emotions Love

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

Farm: A hunk of land on which, if you get up early enough mornings and work late enough nights, you’ll make a fortune – if you strike oil on it.

(1896 – 1988) American actor
Definitions TV/Movie Quotes

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies

Arsonist: A person who sets the world on fire… at least in a small way.

Definitions

Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.

Definitions Money

Smile: To expose a portion of one’s skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes

Fobia: The fear of misspelled words.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions