Subject: Definitions (Page 33)

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Average Man: A person who doesn’t want much, and usually gets a little less than that.

Definitions People

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Insurance: A form of gambling in which we bet our chance of escaping disaster, and win only when we lose.

Definitions

Ambition: Goaled rush.

Definitions

Sympathizer: A fellow that’s for you as long as it doesn’t cost anything.

Definitions

Sociology: Journalism without news.

Definitions

Recursion: If you still don't get it, See: Recursion.

Definitions

Unwed Mother: One who helps perpetuate the genes of an unwed father, without the latter’s talent for becoming invisible at will.

Definitions Family

No Exit: A sign indicating the most convenient way out of a building.

Definitions

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Age Definitions Food/Drink Health Old

Two-minute warning: When your baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Definitions

Dictator: One who thinks he can take it – no matter to whom it belongs.

Definitions

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

Longevity: Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Life

Bureaucracy: A system that enables ten men to do the work of one.

Definitions Government

Credit: A commodity that becomes better the less it is used.

Definitions

Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Death Definitions

Vasectomy: Spoil the rod… spare the child.

Definitions

Bore: A person who takes his time taking your time.

Definitions

Communist: A guy who borrows your pot to cook your goose.

Definitions