Subject: Definitions (Page 33)

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Traffic Light: A little green light that changes to red as your car approaches.

Autos Definitions Things

Chaperoning: A spectator spoil-sport.

Definitions

Percussive Maintenance: Striking a recalcitrant piece of electronic hardware in order to facilitate a successful reboot, and repeating as necessary.

Definitions Failure Problems Things

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Innocent Bystander: A person so simple-minded he doesn’t know enough to get out of the way.

Definitions

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought.

Communication Definitions

Ice Fishing: Winter fishing method in which anglers use a variety of specialized equipment to catch colds.

Definitions

Drama Critic: A person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

Definitions Occupations Reviews/Criticism

Apparently: As either mother or father would do it.

Definitions

Group Discussion: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

Appearance Body Definitions

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Definitions Things

Aground: When a boat makes the discovery that all water has land under it.

Definitions

Aftermath: The horrible headache you have when you’ve finished the algebra test.

Definitions

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

The Cocktail Party: A device for paying off obligations to people you don’t want to invite to dinner.

(1916 – 1986) American minister & author
Activities Definitions People

Ignoramus: A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Egotism: An anesthetic that nature gives to a man to deaden the pain of being a darn fool.

Definitions