Subject: Definitions (Page 33)

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Wife Swapping: Sexual fourplay.

Definitions Marriage Sex Wordplay

Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Definitions Government

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

Post Operative: Letter carrier

Definitions

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Lecture: A process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the student, without passing through the minds of either.

Definitions Education School

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense.

Definitions

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

Definitions People

Oratory: The art of making deep noises from the chest sound like important messages from the brain.

Communication Definitions Speech

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.

Age Definitions

Committee: A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

Definitions

Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.

Age Definitions

Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Reconsider: To seek a justification for a decision already made.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party is going to be.

Definitions Time

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

Marriage: A friendship recognized by the police.

(1850 – 1894) Scottish novelist, poet, essayist & travel writer
Definitions Marriage

Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.

Definitions