Subject: Definitions (Page 34)

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Hypochondriac: One who can’t leave well-enough alone.

Definitions Health

Jumping At Conclusions: Not half as much exercise as digging for facts.

Definitions

Selfishness: Annoying quality of someone who has what I want, but is not prepared to give it to me.

Definitions

After-Dinner Speaker: A fellow who rises to the occasion – and then stands too long.

Definitions

Regret: Insight that comes a day too late.

Definitions

Propaganda: Baloney disguised as food for thought.

Definitions Wordplay

Advertising: The rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Definitions

Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday.

Definitions

Courtesy: Acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

Life: A play with a lousy third act.

Definitions Life

Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

Subsidy: A formula devised by politicians to give you back some of your own money in such a way that you are supposed to think it’s a gift.

Definitions

Bureaucracy: A system that enables ten men to do the work of one.

Definitions Government

Hindsight: What one experiences from changing too many diapers.

Definitions

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

Fortune teller: Séance fiction.

Definitions

Monogamy: A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another.

Definitions Marriage

Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Definitions Men People

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Emotions Language Love

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay