Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 34)
View All Definitions
Grass: The green stuff that wilts in the yard and flourishes in the garden.
Anonymous
Definitions
Gardens
Grass
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”
Anonymous
Accidents
Definitions
Problems
Whoops
White Lie: Aversion of the truth.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
Honesty
Lies
Truth
White Lie
Oar: Clumsy wooden implement used to moisten boat occupants.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Oar
Expert: A man who is seldom in doubt, but often in error.
Anonymous
Definitions
Expert
Luck: The thing that draws us for jury duty, but never for the lottery.
Anonymous
Definitions
Luck
Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Politicians
Bureaucrat
Twins: Womb-mates.
Anonymous
Definitions
Twins
Tavern: Thirst come, thirst served.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Tavern
April 1: The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364.
Anonymous
Definitions
Fools
Intelligence
April 1
Exaggeration: Formal term for a collection of fishermen (i.e. an exaggeration of anglers).
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Language
Exaggeration
Fishing
Nursery: Bawl room.
Anonymous
Definitions
Nursery
Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Intelligence
Language
Connoisseur
Virtue: Lack of opportunity.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Virtue
Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.
Anonymous
Definitions
Eating
Food/Drink
Fiber
Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.
Leonard L. Levinson
(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions
Occupations
Wordplay
Work
Psychologists
Spoonerism
Artificial Insemination: Impregnation without representation and procreation without recreation.
Anonymous
Definitions
Artificial Insemination
Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.
Anonymous
Definitions
Money
Delayed Payment
Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
Anonymous
Death
Definitions
Eulogy
Praise
I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.
Anonymous
Definitions
I.T.
Technology
Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.
Anonymous
Definitions
Anonymous
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