Subject: Definitions (Page 34)

Recursion: If you still don't get it, See: Recursion.

Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Kill: To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Falsies: Making mountains out of molehills.

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Twice: Once too often.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Snoring: Sheet music.

America: A nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there.

Poise: The act of raising the eyebrows instead of the roof.

Karma: Justice without the feeling of satisfaction.

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Punctuality: Waiting around for other people.

Toupée: Top secret.

Hospitality: The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

Baby: Morning caller, noonday crawler, midnight bawler.

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Cravings: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Innocent Bystander: A person so simple-minded he doesn’t know enough to get out of the way.

Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Niagara Falls: The bride’s second great disappointment.