Subject: Definitions (Page 34)

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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

Detour: The roughest distance between two points.

Activities Definitions Travel

Garage: Something usually built with a house attached.

Definitions

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Definitions

Wagging Tail: A happy ending.

Definitions

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Definitions Entertainment Music

Vegetable: A substance used to ballast a child’s plate while it’s carried to and from the table.

Definitions Food/Drink

Tact: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say. 

Definitions

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Bad Driver: The person you run into.

Autos Definitions Things

Diaper: A changeable seat cover.

Definitions

Absolute Pitch: Completely dark.

Definitions

Tolerance: Another word for indifference.

Characteristics Definitions

Misconception: A pregnancy occurring while taking birth control pills.

Definitions

Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Body Definitions

Hula Dancer: A shake in the grass.

Definitions

Apparently: As either mother or father would do it.

Definitions

Cold War: Hot peace.

Conflict Definitions

Expert: A man who is seldom in doubt, but often in error.

Definitions

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Negotiating: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Money