Subject: Definitions (Page 34)

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Grass: The green stuff that wilts in the yard and flourishes in the garden.

Definitions

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

White Lie: Aversion of the truth.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies Truth

Oar: Clumsy wooden implement used to moisten boat occupants.

Definitions Things

Expert: A man who is seldom in doubt, but often in error.

Definitions

Luck: The thing that draws us for jury duty, but never for the lottery.

Definitions

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians

Twins: Womb-mates.

Definitions

Tavern: Thirst come, thirst served.

Definitions Food/Drink

April 1: The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364.

Definitions Fools Intelligence

Exaggeration: Formal term for a collection of fishermen (i.e. an exaggeration of anglers).

Activities Definitions Language

Nursery: Bawl room.

Definitions

Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions Occupations Wordplay Work

Artificial Insemination: Impregnation without representation and procreation without recreation.

Definitions

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Definitions Money

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.

Definitions

Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.

Definitions