Subject: Definitions (Page 35)

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Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Marriage

Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Children Definitions Family Food/Drink

Genealogy: An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Family Past

Consolation: The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Cat: A pygmy lion who loathes mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals Cats Definitions

Brat: A child who displays his pest manners.

Definitions

Yawn: It’s always dullest just before the yawn.

Definitions Wordplay

Good Neighbor: One who doesn’t borrow his garden hose back too often.

Definitions

Politics: Where people work hard to get a job and do nothing after they get it.

Definitions Government Politics

Stomach: The home of the swallow.

Definitions

Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time.

Definitions

Passport: A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Definitions Individuals Things Travel

Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.

Activities Definitions Drugs Science/Weather

Budget: An orderly system of living beyond your means.

Definitions

Fad: A folly committed by enough of the right people to confer upon it the badge of status.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Bowling: Marbles for grown-ups.

Activities Definitions

The Cocktail Party: A device for paying off obligations to people you don’t want to invite to dinner.

(1916 – 1986) American minister & author
Activities Definitions People

Quagmire: Any situation more easily entered into than exited from; e.g., a guerrilla war, a bad marriage or a conversation with an insurance salesman.

Definitions

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young

Experience: In the working world, something you can’t get unless you’ve already got it, in which case you probably don’t want any more of it.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay