Subject: Definitions (Page 37)

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Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Definitions Occupations

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports

Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

Definitions

Tolerance: That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Middle age: When a woman’s hair starts turning from gray to black.

Age Appearance Definitions Hair

Life: A breathing spell.

Definitions Life

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money Things

Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus.

Definitions

Dependent: Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Definitions Sex

Advertising: That which makes you think you’ve longed all your life for something you never even heard of.

Communication Definitions

Childhood: The rapidly shrinking interval between infancy and first arrest on a drug or weapons charge.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Forger: The man who gives a check a bad name.

Definitions

Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.

Definitions

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Cooking Definitions

Telemarketer: A minimum waged person who calls a bunch of people on a list to sell them something that they probably don’t need, and gets hung up on because the person being called usually has a mouth full of food.

Definitions Occupations

Expert: A person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

Definitions

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Orgasm: The punchline some women just don’t get, generally because their mates have a tendency to rush through the joke.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Sex