Subject: Definitions (Page 37)

View All Definitions

Unemployment: The usual alternative to overwork.

Definitions Work

Foosball: A combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

Activities Definitions

Self-evident: Evident to one's self and to nobody else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Animals Definitions

Pocket Watch: A watch for people who don’t like having time on their hands.

Definitions Time

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

Work: An unpopular way to earn money.

Definitions Work

Short Vacation: Half a loaf.

Activities Definitions

Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.

Definitions Men Women

Gold Digger: A fund-loving girl.

Definitions

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

Experience: What you get from being inexperienced.

Definitions

Abort: To correct a misconception.

Definitions

Armor: A knight gown.

Clothing Definitions

Exercise: The joy of flex.

Activities Definitions Exercise

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

Definitions Frugal Money

Butt: The body part that every item of clothing makes “look bigger.”

Appearance Body Definitions

Liposuction: A surgical procedure from which the patient emerges significantly lighter in both pounds and dollars.

Appearance Body Definitions Health