Subject: Definitions (Page 37)

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Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

Self-made Man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.

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Dark Ages: Knight time.

Definitions

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

Unwed Mother: One who helps perpetuate the genes of an unwed father, without the latter’s talent for becoming invisible at will.

Definitions Family

Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.

Communication Definitions Language

Orthodox: Bone doctors.

Definitions Doctors

Invitro Fertilization: The innoculate conception.

Definitions

Senility: The pleasantly rueful experience of forgetting what we’ve forgotten.

Age Definitions Intelligence Memory Old

Friend: Someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.

Definitions Friends People

Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all modern improvements.

Death Definitions

Altar: To change through marriage.

Definitions Marriage

Liberal: One who tolerates all beliefs and opinions except those with which he disagrees.

Beliefs Definitions

Miser: One who’s perfectly content to let the rest of the world go buy.

Definitions

State-of-the-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Egotist: A person of low taste more interested in himself than in me.

Definitions

Vice: A function to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

Definitions

Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?

(1965 – ) English comedian, musician, actor & author
Definitions History Time