Subject: Definitions (Page 37)

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Conscience: The voice that tells you not to do something after you have done it.

Definitions

Business: Something which, if you don’t have any, you go out of.

Definitions

Accident: Any negligent or malicious behavior performed by someone with a clever lawyer.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions Problems

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Definitions Food/Drink

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 p.m…. never at 5 a.m.

Definitions

Job: A state of employment everyone wants but few look forward to on a Monday morning.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

A farm is an irregular patch of nettles bounded by short-term notes, containing a fool and his wife who didn’t know enough to stay in the city.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Definitions Places Things

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

Window Shopping: Eye browsing.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Advice: Something which we give by the bushel but take by the grain.

Definitions

Alimony: The sum of money a man is commanded to pay his ex-wife in exchange for the pleasure of having her live under a separate roof.

Definitions Marriage

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Communication Definitions Occupations

Fiddle: An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Definitions Music

Quagmire: Any situation more easily entered into than exited from; e.g., a guerrilla war, a bad marriage or a conversation with an insurance salesman.

Definitions

Absolute Pitch: Completely dark.

Definitions

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

Definitions Government Law

Deliberation: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Reformer: One who wants his conscience to be your guide.

Definitions

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Definitions

Hobby: Something you do to have fun whether you enjoy it or not.

Activities Definitions

Upgraded and Improved: Didn't work the second time.

Definitions Situations Things