Subject: Definitions (Page 39)

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Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.

Definitions Intelligence

Budget: Telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.

Definitions

Forger: The man who gives a check a bad name.

Definitions

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Diet: Something you keep putting off while you keep putting on.

Definitions Food/Drink

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Definitions

Liberal: Someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Advice: Something which we give by the bushel but take by the grain.

Definitions

Intuition: Suspicion in skirts.

Definitions

Fore: A golf bawl.

Definitions Golf Sports

Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.

Definitions

Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.

Definitions Money

Epitaph: A monumental lie.

Death Definitions

Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Children Definitions Family Food/Drink

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

Experience: A form of knowledge acquired only two ways: by doing and being done.

Definitions

Childish Games: Those at which your wife beats you.

Activities Definitions Games

Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all modern improvements.

Death Definitions