Subject: Definitions (Page 39)

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Kill: To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death Definitions Killing

Chic: Considered smart without the deadening implication of intelligence.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Vacation: A change of routine that makes you feel good enough to go back to work and poor enough to have to.

Definitions

Banker: A pawn broker with a manicure.

Definitions Occupations Work

Major: Area of study that no longer interests you.

Definitions Education Learning

Delegation: In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language

Budget: An attempt to live below your yearnings.

Definitions

Gimme: An agreement between two duffer golfers who can’t putt.

Definitions Golf Sports

Hooker: A working woman commonly despised by people who sell themselves for even less.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Sex

Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.

Definitions Doctors Health

Pun: A short quip followed by a long groan.

Definitions

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

Florists: Petal pushers.

Definitions

Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.

Definitions Places

Ventriloquist: A man who never speaks for himself.

Communication Definitions Speech

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies

Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.

Definitions

Philanderer: A man who considers himself too good to be true.

Definitions People Self

Price: Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language Self

Disc Jockey: A guy who lives on spins and needles.

Definitions Occupations