Subject: Definitions (Page 39)

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Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

Book Jacket: A fable of contents.

Definitions

Retraction: The revision of an insult to give it wider circulation.

Definitions Insults

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

Definitions Opinion

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

Centenarian: A person who has lived to be one hundred years old. He never smoked or he smoked all his life. He used whiskey for eighty years or he never used it. He was a vegetarian or he wasn’t a vegetarian.

Age Definitions Old

Chaperoning: A spectator spoil-sport.

Definitions

Florists: Petal pushers.

Definitions

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

Ignoramus: Someone who doesn’t know something that you learned yesterday.

Definitions Intelligence

Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.

Definitions Marriage Time

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

Snoring: Sound sleeping.

Definitions

Night Club: A place where they take the rest out of restaurant and put the din in dinner.

Definitions Places

Bureaucracy: The art of making the possible seem impossible.

Definitions

Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.

Definitions Government Taxes

Conscience: The voice that tells you not to do something after you have done it.

Definitions

Donation: A country full of female deer.

Definitions

Mouth: In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Definitions