Subject: Definitions (Page 40)

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Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.

Definitions

Rite: A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Craze: The other guy’s hobby.

Definitions

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Definitions Money

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

A man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Definitions People

Cricket: A game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity.

Definitions Sports

Automated: A couple making love in a car.

Definitions

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Clothing Definitions

Donation: A country full of female deer.

Definitions

Sympathy: What one usually gives to a friend or relative when he doesn’t want to lend him money.

Definitions Emotions

Users: Computer users are divided into three types: Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people's computers.

Computers Definitions People Things

Durable Goods: Those that last longer than the time payments.

Definitions Things

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat

Father: A guy who is working his child’s way through college.

Definitions Family Fathers

Abortion: Love's labor lost.

Definitions

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Education: Forcing abstract ideas into concrete heads.

Definitions Ideas Intelligence