Subject: Definitions (Page 40)

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Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Beliefs Definitions Occupations

Fad: A folly committed by enough of the right people to confer upon it the badge of status.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Easy Payments: The ones that are easier said than done.

Definitions

Twilight: All the difference between day and night.

Definitions Time

Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time.

Definitions

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men

Knitting: An exercise that gives women something to do when they are talking.

Activities Definitions

Ignoramus: Someone who doesn’t know something that you learned yesterday.

Definitions Intelligence

Bore: A person who takes his time taking your time.

Definitions

Dachshund: An animal half a dog high by a dog and a half long.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Animals Definitions Dogs

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Definitions Money

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money.

Acting Definitions Entertainment

Waiter: A guy who believes money grows on a tray.

Definitions Occupations Work

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labor.

Definitions

Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, in addition to when it is removed.

Cooking Definitions

Taxidermist: A man who mounts animals.

Animals Definitions Occupations

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Things

Admiral: A general at sea.

Definitions Military

Learning: The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Language Learning