Subject: Definitions (Page 40)

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Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife.

Definitions Women

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

Aground: When a boat makes the discovery that all water has land under it.

Definitions

Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.

Definitions

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.

Age Definitions

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

Acrobat: The person who turns a flop into a success.

Definitions

Banquet: A fifty-cent dinner served in sufficient quantity to enable a caterer to charge twenty dollars for it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time.

Definitions

Expert: A person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

Definitions

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time; the man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Activities Definitions

Yodeling: Slope opera.

Definitions Wordplay

Foreword: An author’s apology.

Books Definitions

Spanking: Stern punishment.

Definitions

Congratulation: The civility of envy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Bore: A person who deprives you with solitude without providing company.


Definitions People

Love: A form of self-government under a two-party system.

Definitions Emotions Love

Intuition: The sixth sense that allows a woman five wrong guesses.

Definitions Women

Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Death Definitions

Borrower: A man who tries to live within your means.

Definitions