Subject: Definitions (Page 41)

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Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Definitions Relationships

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

Un-American: Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Characteristics Definitions Places

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Beliefs Definitions Occupations

Math Anxiety: An intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 mph.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

Paradox: Two physicians.

Definitions Doctors Wordplay

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay

Bowling: Marbles for grown-ups.

Activities Definitions

Bridge: A game which gives women something to try to think about while they are talking.

Activities Definitions Games

Mausoleum: The final and funniest folly of the rich.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Money Wealth

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist
Definitions Work

Vuja de: The feeling you've never been here.

Definitions

Plumber: A drain surgeon.

Definitions Occupations

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

Discretion: When you are sure you are right and then ask your wife.

Definitions

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Definitions Golf Sports

Budget: An orderly system of living beyond your means.

Definitions

Recount: In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Parking Space: An unfilled opening in an unending line of cars near an unapproachable fire hydrant.

Definitions

Inertia: Tendency of a skier’s body to resist changes in direction or speed due to the action of Newton’s First Law of Motion.

Definitions Science/Weather