Subject: Definitions (Page 42)

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Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Definitions

Abortion: Love's labor lost.

Definitions

Armadillo: Possum on the half shell.

Animals Definitions

Senior Executive: Anyone with an office on the carpeted corridor.

Definitions

Artist’s Model: A girl unsuited for her work.

Definitions

Contempt: The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Lawyer: A fellow who is willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove he’s right.

Definitions Lawyers

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Definitions

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

Tact: The ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Definitions

Discussion: A method of confirming others in their errors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Mistakes People

Efficiency Expert: A man who knows less about your business than you do and gets paid more for telling you how to run it than you could possibly make out of it, even if you ran it right instead of the way he told you to.

Definitions

Four-wheel Drive: Getting stuck in more inaccessible places.

Definitions

Dependent: Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Originality: The art of concealing your source.

Definitions

Censor: A man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Communication Definitions Language

Husband: One who stands by you in troubles you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t married him.

Definitions Marriage

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Definitions Intelligence People Self