Subject: Definitions (Page 42)

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Book Jacket: A fable of contents.

Definitions

Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Euphemisms: Unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

Definitions

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

Savages: People who don’t know what is wrong until missionaries show them.

Definitions People

Famous Last Words: “This is easy.”

Death Definitions

Senior Executive: Anyone with an office on the carpeted corridor.

Definitions

Bragging: The patter of tiny feats.

Definitions

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof. 

Age Definitions

Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.

Definitions Occupations

Communist: A guy who borrows your pot to cook your goose.

Definitions

Conservative: A liberal who has just been mugged.

Beliefs Definitions

Parking Space: An unfilled opening in an unending line of cars near an unapproachable fire hydrant.

Definitions

Cantaloupe: Gotta get married in a church.

Definitions Marriage

Marriage: A process of finding out what sort of guy your wife would have preferred.

Definitions Marriage

Miracle: An event described by those to whom it was told by men who did not see it.  

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Definitions

Associate producer: Anybody who’s prepared to associate with a producer.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Definitions

Kiss: A course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of conversation when words are superfluous.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Definitions

Gossip: Something negative that is developed and then enlarged.

Definitions

Strapless Gown: A compromise between the law of decency and the law of gravity.

Clothing Definitions

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God