Subject: Definitions (Page 42)

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Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Definitions People

Puritan: A person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.

Definitions

Consultant: Someone who knows 101 ways to make love, but can’t get a date.

Definitions

Multitasking: Messing up several chores at the same time.

Activities Definitions

Derange: Where de buffalo roam.

Definitions

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

Altar: To change through marriage.

Definitions Marriage

Unitarian: One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Archbishop: An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

Definitions Religion

Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party is going to be.

Definitions Time

Borrower: A person who always wants to be left a loan.

Definitions

Bigamist: A man who who has had one too many.

Definitions Marriage

Sabbatical: A Latin word meaning, “I quit, but you won’t know it for certain for a year.”

Definitions

X Chromosome: a genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

Definitions Men People

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Definitions Future Time

Neighbor: One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People

State-Of-The-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

Definitions

Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.

Definitions Emotions Happiness

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

Tips: Wages we pay other people’s help.

Definitions