Subject: Definitions (Page 43)

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Fad: Something that goes in one era and out the other.

Definitions

Forger: The man who gives a check a bad name.

Definitions

Adam’s Rib: The original bone of contention.

Definitions

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Falsies: Making mountains out of molehills.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Drama Critic: A person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

Definitions Occupations Reviews/Criticism

Etiquette: Learning to yawn with your mouth closed.

Definitions

Reconsider: To seek a justification for a decision already made.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work.

Definitions

Looting: A public shopping spree generously sponsored by local merchants in the wake of a riot.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

Admiral: A general at sea.

Definitions Military

Cabinet Maker: Counter fitter.

Definitions Occupations

Trick Photography: Focus pocus.

Definitions

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Definitions Intelligence People Self

Cloud: What’s in front of every silver lining.

Definitions

Monarch: A king with a good publicity man.

Definitions

Flirtation: Paying attention without intention.

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Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

Newlywed: What you and your spouse will officially be considered until your first anniversary, or until you go an entire week without sex (whichever comes first).

Definitions Marriage

Advice: A commodity peddled by your lawyer and given away by your mother-in-law, but impossible to dispose of yourself. Famous as the one thing which it is “More blessed to give than receive.”

Definitions

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

Definitions