Subject: Definitions (Page 44)

View All Definitions

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Definitions Intelligence People Self

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Definitions Sports

Aftermath: The horrible headache you have when you’ve finished the algebra test.

Definitions

Courtesy: Acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

Heredity: The thing a child gets from the other side of the family.

writer
Definitions Family

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Definitions

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Abasement: A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth and power.

Definitions

Evangelist: A bearer of good tidings who gives us the good news and assures us of our own salvation and damnation of our neighbors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Doorman: A genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

Definitions Occupations

Fad: Something that goes in one era and out the other.

Definitions

Gardener: Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up.

Definitions

Life: A breathing spell.

Definitions Life

Yearbook: A book of pictures that get nerdier with time.

Definitions

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist
Definitions Work

Alimony: A splitting headache.

Definitions Marriage

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

Yawn: It’s always dullest just before the yawn.

Definitions Wordplay

English Channel: The BBC.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

Thrift: Common sense applied to spending.

Definitions Money