Subject: Definitions (Page 44)

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Originality: The art of concealing your source.

Definitions

Stomach: The home of the swallow.

Definitions

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Emotions Language Love

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money Things

Hospital: A place where people who are run down wind up..

Definitions

Chatterbox: Another name for a telephone booth.

Definitions Things

Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.

Definitions Health

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

Sanitation Worker: The title conferred on garbage men when they  started earning more than public school teachers.

Definitions Occupations

Gossip: Something negative that is developed and then enlarged.

Definitions

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Juvenile Delinquents: Other people’s children.

Definitions

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Conscience: A device that doesn’t keep you from doing anything – just keeps you from enjoying it.

Definitions

Ideologue: Typically an obscure humorless zealot who finds fulfillment by spouting the ideas of famous humorless zealots.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Beliefs Definitions

Whoa!: A brake for horses.

Animals Definitions

Diplomat: A person who can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.

Definitions