Subject: Definitions (Page 44)

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Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

Vision: Looking farther than you can see.

Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

Crime Death Definitions Killing

Rhetoric: Language in a dress suit.

Definitions Language

Creativity: The sudden cessation of stupidity.

Definitions Intelligence

Delegate-At-Large: A man at a convention whose wife didn’t accompany him.

Definitions

Karma: Justice without the feeling of satisfaction.

Definitions

Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Armor: A knight gown.

Clothing Definitions

Baby: An alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.

Definitions Family

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

Baby: Morning caller, noonday crawler, midnight bawler.

Children Definitions Family

Minor Operation: One performed on someone else.

Definitions Health

Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Shallowness: The root cause of chronic good health, high school popularity, appearance on the fiction bestseller lists, and gainful employment on local tv news broadcasts.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Eskimos: God’s frozen people.

Definitions People

Bill Collector: A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again.

Definitions

House: Domicile purchased by married couples so they have some place to pour all their money.

Definitions