Subject: Definitions (Page 44)

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Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

Miser: One who’s perfectly content to let the rest of the world go buy.

Definitions

Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.

Definitions Occupations

Lemonade Stand: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of fifteen cents.

Definitions

Insanity: Grounds for divorce in some states; grounds for marriage in all

Definitions Marriage

Altar-Boy: A type of bicycle accident.

Definitions

Apathy: Vigor mortis.

Definitions

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Definitions

Tact: The ability to arrive at conclusions without expressing them.

Definitions

Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Definitions

Yawn: It’s always dullest just before the yawn.

Definitions Wordplay

Hypochondriac: Someone who enjoys bad health.

Definitions Health

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

Communist: A fellow who will gladly divide his hunger and thirst with you if you’ll divide your beer and salami with him.

Definitions

Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time.

Definitions

Pain: An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Mind

Ignoramus: A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Accountability: The mother of caution.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Adam’s rib: the original bone of contention.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Definitions