Subject: Definitions (Page 45)

View All Definitions

Summer camp is where the parents spend a thousand dollars so their daughter can learn to make a fifty-cent potholder.

Definitions Places

Epitaph: A monumental lie.

Death Definitions

Spouse: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Definitions Marriage

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money Things

Toast: The only thing that can be eaten or drunk.

Definitions

Pacifist: A fellow who could attend a peace conference without getting into a fight.

Conflict Definitions Fights People

Voting: A process of standing in line for the opportunity to help decide which party will spend your money.

Definitions

Deterrence: The art of producing, in the mind of the enemy, the fear to attack.

Definitions

Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.

Definitions Health Wordplay

Self-made Man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.

Definitions

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

Appearance Body Definitions

Contract: An agreement to do something if nothing happens to prevent it.

Definitions

Current Events: Electric shocks.

Definitions

Quality Control: The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.

Definitions

Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Books Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

Unitarian: One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Husband: A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness.

Definitions Marriage

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Definitions Wordplay

Unimpeachable Source: The guy that started the rumor in the first place.

Definitions

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

Congress Definitions Government