Subject: Definitions (Page 45)

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Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

Definitions

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

Leftovers: Repast history.

Definitions Food/Drink

Rumor: A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Bookcase: A piece of furniture used in America to house bowling trophies and elvis collectibles.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Mouth: In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Thrift: Common sense applied to spending.

Definitions Money

Archbishop: An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

Definitions Religion

Cloud: What’s in front of every silver lining.

Definitions

Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.

Activities Definitions Drugs Science/Weather

Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Kleenex: Your daily nose-paper.

Definitions

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

Temptation: Something which, when resisted, gives happiness and which, when yielded to, gives even greater happiness.

Definitions

I.O.U.: A type of paper wait.

Definitions

Wedding: A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Marriage People

Guilt: The gift that keeps on giving.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Characteristics Definitions

Bus: A vehicle that has empty seats when going in the opposite direction.

Definitions

Politics: Where people work hard to get a job and do nothing after they get it.

Definitions Government Politics

Dentures: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one's grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Bragging: The patter of tiny feats.

Definitions