Subject: Definitions (Page 46)

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Diet: selection of foods for people who are thick and tired of it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Optimist: A middle-aged man who believes that the cleaners have been shrinking the waistband of his pants.

Body Characteristics Definitions People

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Definitions Old

Autobiography: An I-witness account

Books Communication Definitions People Self

Silence: Having nothing to say and saying it.

Communication Definitions Situations Speech

Bogey: The number of strokes needed to finish a hole by a golfer of average skill and above-average honesty.

Definitions Golf Sports

Desk: A waste basket with drawers.

Definitions Things

Quagmire: Any situation more easily entered into than exited from; e.g., a guerrilla war, a bad marriage or a conversation with an insurance salesman.

Definitions

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

Cold: An ailment cured in two weeks with a doctor’s care, and in fourteen days without it.

Definitions Doctors Health

Democracy: A state of mind in which every man is as good as every other man, provided he really is.

Definitions Democracy Government

Eskimos: God’s frozen people.

Definitions People

A man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Definitions People

Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

Definitions Language

Zircon: A diamond falsie.

Definitions

Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Definitions Men People

History: The version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Definitions History Time

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

Apartment: A place where the landlord and the tenant are both trying to raise the rent.

Definitions