Subject: Definitions (Page 46)

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Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Computers Definitions Things

Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.

Definitions Occupations

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Clairvoyant: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Quality of Life: What an industrialized nation is said to offer when enough of its citizens are suffering from terminal stress.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

Definitions

Advice: A commodity peddled by your lawyer and given away by your mother-in-law, but impossible to dispose of yourself. Famous as the one thing which it is “More blessed to give than receive.”

Definitions

Life: A span of time of which the first half is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Children Definitions Parents

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are.

Definitions Family People

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

Cartoon: What’s sung when driving your car.

Definitions

Rumor: A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Committee: A group which succeeds in getting something done only when it consists of three members, one of whom happens to be sick and the other absent.

Definitions

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Definitions Occupations

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

Time: The arbitrary division of eternity.

Definitions Time

Punctuality: Waiting around for other people.

Definitions

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports

Inhibition: Being tied up in nots.

Definitions