Subject: Definitions (Page 46)

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Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

Definitions

Democracy: A system whereby the person who never votes can cuss out the man the other people elected.

Definitions Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Rum: Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time; the man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Activities Definitions

False Pregnancy: Laboring under a misconception.

Definitions

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Cynic: A man who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Broom: Witch craft.

Definitions

Enema: Not a friend.

Definitions

Overeat: To dine.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Eating Food/Drink Language

Neurotic: A person who, when you ask how she is, tells you.

Definitions People

Accrue: People who work on a ship.

Definitions

Spanking: Stern punishment.

Definitions

Insurance: A form of gambling in which we bet our chance of escaping disaster, and win only when we lose.

Definitions

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Computers Definitions Things

Discussion: A method of confirming others in their errors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Mistakes People

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Clothing Definitions Places

Propaganda: Baloney disguised as food for thought.

Definitions Wordplay

Abasement: A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth and power.

Definitions

Easy: Used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Definitions People Sex Women

Subsidy: A formula devised by politicians to give you back some of your own money in such a way that you are supposed to think it’s a gift.

Definitions