Subject: Definitions (Page 48)

View All Definitions

Egotist: A person of low taste more interested in himself than in me.

Definitions

Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.

Definitions

Man: An animal [whose]… chief occupation is the extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People Women

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

Activities Definitions Games

Double Jeopardy: When your doctor calls in a consulting physician.

Definitions Doctors Health

English Channel: The BBC.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Electile Dysfunction: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Absentee: A missing golfing peg.

Definitions Golf Sports

Cookie: A standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat.

Definitions Food/Drink

Bookie: A pickpocket who lets you use your own hands.

Definitions

Judge: A man in a trying position.

Definitions Wordplay

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Heredity: The thing a child gets from the other side of the family.

writer
Definitions Family

Hospital: A place where people who are run down wind up..

Definitions

Thrift: Common sense applied to spending.

Definitions Money

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,614 times a day.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Parole: A period at the end of a sentence.

Definitions

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

Trombones: Bones in an orchestra.

Definitions

Childish Games: Those at which your wife beats you.

Activities Definitions Games