Subject: Definitions (Page 5)

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Conscience: A device that doesn’t keep you from doing anything – just keeps you from enjoying it.

Definitions

Cantaloupe: Gotta get married in a church.

Definitions Marriage

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Motherhood: If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

Definitions

Hanging: A suspended sentence.

Definitions

Prejudice: A great time-saver that enables one to form opinions without bothering to get the facts.

Definitions

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

Cat: A lap warmer with a built-in buzzer.

Animals Cats Definitions

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.

Definitions Things

Disinheritance: Heir cut.

Definitions

Advice: the smallest current coin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Shakespeare: A man whose writings are so excellent it’s believed someone else must have written them.

Definitions

Oaf: An old fashioned jerk.

Definitions People

Dark Ages: Knight time.

Definitions

Subsidy: A formula devised by politicians to give you back some of your own money in such a way that you are supposed to think it’s a gift.

Definitions

Luxury Resort: One where a waiter expects a $2 tip when he presents a $6 bill for serving a $3.50 bottle of beer.

Definitions

Foreword: An author’s apology.

Books Definitions

Electrician: A person who wires for money.

Definitions Occupations Work

Stomach: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

Body Definitions

Consumer: One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products.

Definitions Shopping