Subject: Definitions (Page 5)

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Vice: A function to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

Definitions

Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

Definitions

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

Heredity: The bad traits a child gets from the other side of the family.

Definitions Family

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar.

Autos Definitions Things

Artificial Insemination: Impregnation without representation and procreation without recreation.

Definitions

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labor.

Definitions

If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Communication Definitions Language

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Appearance Body Definitions

Fobia: The fear of misspelled words.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.

Definitions Emotions Happiness

Colleague: The person to whom one passes the buck.

Definitions

Impossible: What nobody can do until somebody does it.

Definitions

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Definitions Family

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Communication Definitions

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

Karate: The ancient Japanese art of getting people to buy lots of belts.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Definitions